I stated before I wish I knew about this site when my WH was living at home. After D-day we were trying to work things out, and we were spending alot of time together. The OW didn't like that very much and used her wicked ways to get him out of our home.

Six weeks after he left, I found this site and it has been very helpful, especially in helping me keep my sanity.

My WH didn't want any contact, even though he was still stopping by the house (while I was a work) and we talked at least once a week. I started Plan B in late May, little did I know he moved to Vegas around that time.

We didn't speak until a week after I was served DV papers on July 19th. Now he is calling me. Today was suppose to be the day our DV became final, but there is a delay. We are trying to work out some details. I left a message about three hours ago for an update, but haven't heard back. Maybe he can't free himself away from the OW.

I guess my question is, should I be nice on the telephone with him, business like, tell him exactly how I feel, maybe I have done all those things in our recent conversations.

I don't know how to converse with him? Sometimes it seems like I'm talking to man I love and next it is like a total stranger.

I don't want to lose contact with him after the DV.

After 3 hours, maybe the OW erased your message or either he's not at home. Call him back and tell him you left a message 3 hours ago and haven't heard back. I would keep trying.

The fact that he's calling you may mean that he's not sure that what he is doing is what he really wants. He's opened to lines of communication and if I were you, I would be as nice as possible.

This may be the last time that you will talk with him as the divorce is soon to be final. What have you to lose? Tell him exactly how you feel. No holds barred.

No matter which way the situation goes, you'll never regret having spoken what you want to say to him. He may assume that you want the divorce, nothing more to do with him, and are thrilled that the divorce is soon becoming final. Wouldn't it be sad if you left things unsaid.

Thanks jph. I did tell him a little how I felt in the last conversation and maybe he gun shy to call me back.

It just made me angry how he blamed me for the breakdown of the marriage and he didn't take any responsibility. He especially blame me for working two jobs. It was something I had to do to keep the food on the table and clothes on our back. He had lost his job and I was helping finance his dream of owning his own business. So I guess I'm to blame in believing in his dreams and was willing to take on the extra responsibility so he could achieve it, but he felt neglected. Maybe if I was a bored, malipulative housewife and wanted a married man whose parents had money (like the OW), maybe he wouldn't feel so neglected.

I know he is still in a fog just by talking to him. He was a beautiful, smart, family loving and God loving man and now he is just being controlled like a puppet by the OW.

I also told him, that he knows he can trust me and I will always be here for him. He mostly stays quiet for that one.

I still want to stay in contact with him. I don't have any family. His parents and the rest of the family have been so supportive and proud of me. Losing him is like losing a part of me. He is the only one in this world who really knows me.

It is just when I pick up the phone, I don't know who I am talking to or if I think I know, can I trust him?

WH just called back. Just gave him yes or no answers. He told me he saw the final DV papers and I should received them tomorrow or Tuesday.

HD-
Why didn't you tell him how you felt? The yes and no answers may have been intrepreted as if you didn't care? Does his family know how you feel?

Can you e-mail him without her finding it first? Sometimes it's easier to put things down in print so that you can organize your thoughts and really convey what you want said/known.

If you don't want this divorce, don't agree to it. Tell him you don't want it. And if he insists tell him that you don't want contact to stop.

The reason why I didn't tell him how I felt is that he was calling me from a mall, I could barely hear him. I will call him as soon as I receive the papers maybe it will be better time to talk.

I don't want the divorce. He filed in Nevada and I live in New Jersey. I contacted a couple of Nevada lawyers and they say the DV will go through no matter if I sign or not, what would happen if I contest is the splitting of the assets. I can't countersue because I'm not a resident of the state where the papers were filed. I also call a few lawyers in NJ and they couldn't help because they would have to be licensed in Nevada.

I tried everything I could to save my marriage but how can I save it when he lives in Nevada, with a woman who is controlling him and I'm here in NJ. I know she is behind all of this. I know the OW and how detailed she is.

I wished he stayed here in NJ. He had to wait eighteen months for him the file here, which I though would give me plenty of time to save my marriage. I should have known as soon as the OW divorce went through, she would pressure him to file.

His family knows how I feel and they feel the same way. He has been estranged from them since all this went down. The OW was malipulating my in-laws too. She thought she would step right in and be apart of the family. She was even helping my MIL plan my SIL baby shower when the A was exposed. My in-laws are very smart people and they started thinking of all things she has been saying and doing and the OW got caught in all the lies. At least my in-laws are not caught up in the fog. They don't want anything to do with her and they have express to me that she will never be welcomed into this family.

I don't know what I would do without them. They wanted the two of us back together. They been very supportive and told me I will always be part of this family no matter what happens. On several occasions they told me how proud they are of me on the way I have handle the situation. So I have been blessed that I have my WH family love and support. They are the only family I have.

Last week, I did express some of my feelings. As long as he is with the OW, he will not listen to anything I have to say. I really would like him to open up and start talking to me but I'm not holding my breath on that.

It saddens me because we were so close and could talk about anything. I long for those days again.