This comes at a really bad time. He talked with OW last night and the transition away has begun. He won't go NC yet - he says it will come - and he will resolve it this week - please I don't want ot hear anything negative about that - it is different this time. And he needs to be sure that OW is ok - truth betold - I want to be sure she is as well. If you can believe it - she and I have become friends. It's odd - and I know you all will not understand. But the three of us are amazing people.

What I am concerned about is his being gone for the next 3 nights. He told me this mrning that he knows it's a horrible time to leave, wishes he could change it -but he can't. I understand that - and it is not possible for me to accompany him.

Any suggestions on how to support, encourage and love him form afar? He said he would call as much as he can. So we'll have that. I just want to do it right. We will also have email and IM as he will take his computer with him.

And then this weekend we are goig away - just he ans I.

<small>[ August 09, 2004, 07:21 PM: Message edited by: Jfaye ]</small>

she and I have become friends. It's odd - and I know you all will not understand. But the three of us are amazing people.

Yep it is odd... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />
very odd....

be wary of the illusive butterfly known as the current pop-psyche babble of closure...

lets all say it out loud...

"I need closure".... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

the problem with this is that it just leads to the need for me closure..

she says
he says...

she wonders about what she said
he wonders about what he said...
they meet again to clarify this or that...

she says
he says...

she wonders about what she said
he wonders about what he said
they meet again to clarify this or that...

some have sought "closure" for years...

and each encounter steals energy and focus from the marriage....

I want to be sure she is as well

and if she's not "well"
then what
how are you and he going to make her "well"

jfaye neither you nor your husband in words or actions have really shown a great meaning and understanding of marriage...

you both have skewed it in ways that turn away from eachother and outwards to other people..

that's not a marriage....

your post lacks logic...my thoughts are not malicious....
and if you use the judgement word on me...I'm done....

it's not judgement it's fact...

you two need to start in action the meaning of forsaking all others...

you can't have it both ways..the misuse of ourselves, our marraiges, and other people...pretty much always comes with the garuntee that people get hurt...
it is the nature of the beast...

the pursuit to avoid hurting anyone...can cause more pain for a long period of time.....and is almost futile...you can't avoid people getting hurt...because people already are hurt....

and the biggest question..

who cares or speaks of her husbands pain...

how sad lonely and isolative for him...
three people all together in betraying him...all in the name of those three not getting hurt...
yet who speaks for him??

re think this jfaye..

fight for what is right and decent...

ARK

<small>[ August 09, 2004, 07:55 AM: Message edited by: ark^^ ]</small>