hello there just when i thought that i had made the right decision in leaving him , cause i was just so fed up with this whole mess, he is the one trying to cling to the M now.

He was with at her house on Friday morning i think he slept there althouugh he is denying it. He was supposed to be at his Mom's house cause she is away for one month. He claims that she called him early in the morning to talk to him and he went over there then that he did not sleep at her house..... yeah right.

Anyway i told him that it was over and that he should call my mom for anything and she will pass on the meaasge or take care of things.

He was adamant that he is not going that route. That he is not giving me up that he knows that we can be really happy together and that he promises to treat me better. What ever that means.

Now i am really confused i am ready to move on , i don't want to work thing out i just want out i am tired of hurting. Now he wants to work things out how do i know that he won't go back there again.
I just don't know what to do now. help

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M 4 years
Daughter 8 years
Son 9 months

Do you have a list of conditions that he must meet in order for you to want to reconcile?

Is he willing to comply?

Will he be fully accountable...an open book.

Accept no less. Actions over words. Trust must be earned.

I understand that you are tired of being hurt. You have a baby together...that ups the anty quite a bit.

Do what is best for you and your family.

Thanks trix. I just feel so drained after the weekend. I have not spoken to him yet about it but i have every intention of doing so.

He is at the point now where he is doing everything he can for me but i feel like i am just waiting for the axe to fall, you know the feeling where you know it's just a matter of time before it happens agian?

I am going to have a talk with him though and if nothning changes then i am really out this time.

I have decided that i need to look out for me and my children and if he is seeing someone else he can't have our best intrests at heart so i have to do something for my children.

When i told him this weekend that i was through he told me that i can't make that decision on my own that there are other lives involved but yet still he can have an affair and tell me that it has nothing to do with me.

Hi Sindy,

I told my husband Sunday that he needed to stop calling OW. He refused. So I told him to get everything straight by this weekend or we were separating. Sindy. One demand I would make is that your husband not spent the night away from you without your permission. Another thing is that he tell you his whereabouts for a while. When I came home to husband that night after our argument he was telling me he loved me. He is worried now because he can tell I don't care anymore. I told him he didn't love me because he refused to honor my requests. I told him that they were non negotiable if he wanted to stay with me. If he does not agree with my requests we are separating. I have written a Plan B letter. Good luck to you to stay strong because it is so hard. He may promise you the world. Make him back it up.

Sindy are you OK???

Hi Sindy

I don't know your entire sitch, but your post struck a chord with me. I have decided to file for a D, and my poor WH is finally reacting. Mind you, I am not bluffing. I am 99.9% sure I am done. He has no clue about the impact of his A, and knowing him, he never will.

There is a good thread going on at the D/D boards on cake-eating. The Cakeman...or Woman

My Fogman adamantly doesn't want a D, wants everything to stay exactly as it is...HUH? You can choose to continue in Plan A, go to Plan B, or straight to Plan D.

I'm thinking Plan B for you soon, sweetie. It helps the hurt and gives you a breather. Maybe you are ready for that?