My lover has just ended our relationship and I want to die. I keep feeling like just ending it all. I've felt depression before, but never like this. How can someone tell you they love you with all their heart and they choose you and they want you more than anyone or anything else...and then reject you.

I don't hate her, I hate myself for not kidnapping her and making her show me all things she has said she feels for me.

I am very serious!

<small>[ August 10, 2004, 03:41 PM: Message edited by: rrh ]</small>

Call your Mom.
\
Call somebody

Get on the phone right now.

RRH, please call 1-800-SUICIDE. You need to talk to a live person.

BTW, put that kidnapping thing right out of your head, right now. Not ok!

rrh,

This is your 1st post on MB. Please share more info. Then take a look at some of the other people posting. Not only do they have more posts here but their scenarios maybe similar or even more serious than what you are dealing with.

The thoughts you expressed goes with the mess you are dealing with. B4 you choose to end things as you described, it is important to make sure it is for an important enough reason.

A lover who is treating you cruely is not important enough. It hurts a lot but not enough to end like that.

Instead I invite you to read the concepts section above and tell us a bit more of what led up to you being sooo hurt.

Please share it with us. I have to run out but there are others on this board who will be checking up on you.

If you are physically not able to function, get help immediately. Go to emergency or your doctor and get some meds. Call a friend or relative to stay with you. Call the crisis hotline in your area. Whatever you do, do not be alone for right now.

Keep posting. I will be looking for your response.

You also have Pepper checking up on you. She is one great MBer. She can be of great assistance via this board.

Pay attention and breathe. Slowly in and out. I felt the same way when I came. But I am still here. You will be also.

Hugz,
L.

Suicide is a very permanent answer to a temporary problem.

It will be ok one day, give it three months, things will ALWAYS work out.Just hang in there. Don't give up. you never know what the morning will bring! Cry all you want, go to bed for a week, eat lots of ice cream, pamper yourself, heck, drink a fifth, but please don't do anything to harm yourself. This person was wrong for saying something she didn't mean and hurting you...but don't give her any more power than that. YOU WILL BE OK! Call a friend, talk for hours...call a hotline, and then call your doctor and get some medication if needed to help you get through. You'll make it, we have all been there, and you will be happy again. I promise.

duplicate post.

<small>[ August 10, 2004, 03:41 PM: Message edited by: Orchid ]</small>

triple post..... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ August 10, 2004, 03:45 PM: Message edited by: Orchid ]</small>

Hello rrh,

Welcome to MB.

Give us some background so we can help.Are you a betrayed spouse,involved in an affair or what?

O

rrh - as a survivor or suicide (bio-father who was a wh) I have to comment on your plea for help. You need to know that we all want to help, but the best help you are going to get is from a real, live person. Please call a suicide helpline. Have you thought this through? Do you realize that this act of selfishness will have a ripple effect on everyone in your life for the rest of THEIR lives. Everyone. Your mother. Your da, children? They will carry a burden of abandonment by you....forever. There is no coming to terms with it because you won't be there to assuage the pain. Why would you do this to the ones who love you? Please. Think. I've been through the most terrible pain in my life...I've toyed with the idea...but the pain wouldn't have ended if I ended my life....it'd only just begun for everyone in my life....that's why it'd have been the most selfish act imaginable...I'd have left the pain for my loved ones to bear....and that is the sin. You cannot give your pain to others. Please. Don't. It will lessen. I promise. Talk rrh, talk to someone...anyone...even us...if you don't talk to someone live...talk to us.

Prayers,
- Kimmy

rrh,

As one of the moderators for this area of the forum, I read the words of despair you have written. I would like to encourage you to call 1-800-SUICIDE.

While the Marriage Builder's website cannot legally become involved in threats of this kind, please know that your pain is taken seriously.

Please listen to those on this thread who have told you to FOCUS ON YOU, and not on what you are losing.

Life is precious.

* unhelpful drunk pity talk deleted *

<small>[ August 11, 2004, 02:02 AM: Message edited by: Bob Pure ]</small>

RRH and Bob Pure,

Please call 1-800-SUICIDE. You both need one-on-one help that a board like this cannot provide.

Yes, anti-depressents will help, but they can take up to six weeks to have a noticeable effect. But six weeks is a long time to wait. So don't. Pick up the phone.

And please, no more talk of doing (or actually committing) illegal acts. Adding on extra complications like criminal charges for kidnapping or drunk driving will only make everything worse.

Keep your head up and on your shoulders.

~ Snow

Bob...
Think about your bueatiful children. Where would they be without you? They need you!!!!!!!
Hang in there...we're all hurting!!

* drunk pity talk deleted *

<small>[ August 11, 2004, 02:04 AM: Message edited by: Bob Pure ]</small>

Bob,
Where is your wife right now??? Is she there with you?
PLEASE don't do anything stupid!!!!!!!!! I know the pain is unbearable...trust me....I sat in front of the t.v. last night in tears watching old videos. I feel like dying too sometimes...I know things will get better for both of us!!!!! Hang in there........Call a friend...please!!!!

Hope you will both get some professional help. I felt the same as you, but now all of my days are happy again - and WH is still living with OW.

So I promise you, it will get better.

Bob Pure,

I hate to be the insensitive one here but if there is an MB award for drama, Bob Pure gets my nomination.

Not only do you have your own suicide thread, but then you feel the need to hijack someone elses too.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I drove drunk tonight and decided to drive through a forest at speed. But I only ended up in a weed bed with a damaged car. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Aim for a tree FCOL, it's a FOREST! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Get some help already...but quit the drama. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Bob and Rhh,

BOTH of you...

Suicide is selfish. It helps no one. It hurts everyone. It solves nothing. It is a temporary solution that might put you in a much WORSE situation permanently than you're in right now (depends on what you believe about eternity).l

I am having papers filed tomorrow on the man I have been married to for 19 years, the boy whom I lost my virginity to 22 years ago. Do you think this has not been painful for me?

I have had fleeting thoughts. But I have not acted on them, nor do I intend to.

So for everyone who tells you it does get better, listen to them. No, I don't feel like hosting a party! But I DO feel MUCH better than I did right after Dday!

LL

I have thought of suicide too.But you know what,as much as I would like to think that my WH would be full of sorrow,mourn over me and change his "evil" ways,he WOULD NOT.He would be GLAD to have me out of the way like,I think,most WS's.This would only serve the purpose of the WS.And I for one will not give him that satisfaction.

But even before that,my daughters need me so I am here for them and I always will be.I would not dare break their little hearts for a WH.

O

<small>[ August 11, 2004, 06:32 AM: Message edited by: Octobergirl ]</small>