Must add my voice, here. Please, gents, get some help. Call the suicide hotline. Don't be embarassed -- there's someone on the other end of the phone who will listen without judging, and help you find your way through some godawful difficult circumstances.

1-800-SUICIDE has got to be the easiest number to dial on the planet. Go to it.

ba109 u are right. Forgive my drunk pity talk.

rrh & Pure Bob,
I do ont know your stories as I am new here, BUT today was the funeral for someone that I knew who had gone through with it. You are definately crying out for help. Please walk over to your neighbours place, call your brother/sister/mum or dad. Just don't go & do anything until you have talked to someone. This lady left a 9yr DD & a grandchild. They are so confused & hurt. We are all here for you

WS 52
BS 48
DD 25
DS 22

H had several PA's over 10 yrs
Working at being togethr forever

Bob, I am glad you are repentant but even more glad for you and for the general public that all you hit was weeds. Living with the knowledge that you killed someone else through your own rash behavior would be the MOST unbearable thing of all. And would be extremely unattractive to your wife to boot. What if all you did was maim yourself? Who would take care of you?

But back to the real reason we are here! Where is rrh? Would you please post SOMETHING so we know you are ok. Also, I am concerned about the kidnapping remark...that sounded a little too desperate, don't make things worse...

Bob, I am glad you are repentant but even more glad for you and for the general public that all you hit was weeds. Living with the knowledge that you killed someone else through your own rash behavior would be the MOST unbearable thing of all. And would be extremely unattractive to your wife to boot. What if all you did was maim yourself? Who would take care of you?

But back to the real reason we are here! Where is rrh? Would you please post SOMETHING so we know you are ok. Also, I am concerned about the kidnapping remark...that sounded a little too desperate, don't make things worse...

bump

If anybody is reading these still, rrh is still alive. I am his lover & I'd like some advice for both of us. I am going to post our story & wait.

rrh...

Everyone else has given you the suicide hotline info. I'm gonna give you a bucket of cold water and a slap on the a$$ while still being respectfull of your delicate condition. You are feeling desperate and out of control. In part, this is because the only person you are thinking of, is yourself. Since I have read your [former?] lovers thread I'm in a position to ask you to answer your own question. How can a person tell someone that they love them, and they choose them, but then reject them. Ok..I'm waiting for an answer. Have you got one?

Also, you and your lover have had a steady diet of drama and intensity to which you have both become addicted. Your behavior now smacks of withdrawl. If you had the ability to see outside of your addiction, you would see that by doing this..you are openly declaring that no one matters but you. Not your children, family, no one. This is ultimately the fruit of the actions that you have taken. You have become selfish to such an extreme that you are actually considering that death is better than not getting your way. Does that sound like an acceptable frame of mind for you to be in? Are you really ok with this?

It probably doesn't hurt that your lover is now concerned and paying attention to you again. I mean, that's quite a payoff. She has a real decision to make, will you allow her to make her honest choice? Or do you plan to manipulate things to your liking at every turn?

I do not for one minute dispute that you feel bad tonight. Really, really bad in a dantesque fashion. But rrh...that's it..ok? You feel bad right now. You are allowed to feel bad. It is actually ok for you to be uncomfortable and in pain. Just because you feel like you will and must die from this cut, doesn't mean that you can. I'll bet your wife could concur with that if given the opportunity. You have miles to go before you sleep, and things to do along the way..some pleasant, some not. Such is life. You can't always get what you want..but if you try..sometimes..you might get what you need..and now I'm quoting songs for goodness sake.

I hope that you get yourself some help. If not tonight, then in the morning, or late afternoon. These rash actions and high drama will cost you more than you are willing to pay, I guarantee it. Call a friend, go see a movie..or something to distract yourself from..er..yourself. If you are too far gone for that, call in the cavalry, you have plenty of numbers and links. If you are willing to take action in a negative way..be also willing to take it in a way that will allow you not to abandon your entire life. I'm sorry for your dark night of the soul..feel free to keep posting and talking if you have no one else to talk to or if you just sort of like it here..but I'd look for a real live person as well --Noodle

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by mllc:
<strong> If anybody is reading these still, rrh is still alive. I am his lover & I'd like some advice for both of us. I am going to post our story & wait. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I am not sure rrh is really 'alive' or that mllc is the 'lover'.

re: in the A neither the WS or OP are really alive, nor are they really the lover. The A creates a fake sense of another world that sanctions betraying one's family and living a double life.

A true lover would not have an A. One can not be living while killing one's family.

Instead of having a lover, the WS has an OP that can't keep their clothes on and has to rely on strangers for their emotional needs. The WS has now hooked up with a needy person and in turn has become a selfish needy person willing to hurt their own family to pursue another form of life. You call that living or loving? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

It certainly paints an ugly picture.

Am I making this up? Nope, otherwise rrh would not have posted as such.

rrh, you need to get help. Real professional help. Mllc, you need to give rrh the space to get the help without your influence. Otherwise you are guilty of rrh's demise.

Think about it rrh and mllc.

<small>[ August 19, 2004, 02:10 AM: Message edited by: Orchid ]</small>

Hang in there...after my emotional 3 months (being informed of my husband's unfaithfulness and inability to show any heart this summer), I experienced my first suicidal thoughts ever in my life. I am a very positive person normally and I have been plagued by these doubts to live. I think it is normal.

HOWEVER, SUICIDE WON'T SOLVE ANY PROBLEMS. You have a purpose in life and have to believe that! I have confided in my friends and family during this very trying time. It doesn't mean that I has stopped struggling but it has helped me realize that I am needed here. Just the mere thought of seeing my friends and family grieve the loss of me was more than I could handle...those thoughts went away even though my pain still exists.

Good will come...believe me ( :

RRH please change your reasoning. Remove the pain from your life, not your life from the pain.

You can only change YOU in your situation, recognise this and release your concern for the actions of others.

Get a-d medication. Do some exercise. Study MB concepts and read SAA. Information is power.

Remove the pain from your life intelligently in these ways, do not remove your life from the pain recklessly.

You as a person consist of more than just your broken relationship. Gather together what is left right now, and reassemble.

Please.

Be proactive and you WILL cope better sooner than you can ever imagine.

Thankyou for the kindness and honesty. I no longer have feelings of wanting to kill myself, mostly due to the fact that my lover has been keeping contact with me, and the fact that I realize how selfish suicide is.

rrh

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by rrh:
<strong> Thankyou for the kindness and honesty. I no longer have feelings of wanting to kill myself, mostly due to the fact that my lover has been keeping contact with me, and the fact that I realize how selfish suicide is.

rrh </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">What about your wife and family?