I could hardly even look at her. I feel like I just don't want to deal with her anymore. She kept talking to me and waited for me when I left. She just annoys the hell out of me now and I wish that she would just disappear. When we walked outside I kept my distance from her. I was like superman and she was like cryptonite. Haven't felt that feeling around her before. Am I getting over her or subconciously protecting myself? Anyone else felt this way? I don't know if caring less about her was a love bust or not, but just didn't want her to be near me.

Ooooh yea! I have gone out the back door while WW is coming in the front before. i just didn't want to have any contact with her.

My counselor told me the opposite of love is indifference. I can honestly say I have reached that. Now, I can eat lunch with WH, have detailed discussions with WH, and have no emotional response whatsoever...it is like talking to the mailman.

You still have an emotional response...just a negative one. I would wager it is a defense mechanism. After all, this A stuff hurts like heck.

That is what Plan B is for...protecting you from the WS, and preserving your love. Thus why it is so important to NOT have contact with the WS while in it. I did not adhere to that, and I lost all the love I could have for my WH. It is bankrupted.

Juke...hang in there. Plan B is to protect you. So let it!

Juke

I feel the same way about Fogman. I get physically ill and cannot really eat when he's home on the weekends. It sucks. I have been feeling this way since D-Day, but it is fading some. I just don't feel comfortable with him around anymore, very edgy.

I really have tried to examine this feeling... I don't hear many talk about it on the boards. The amount of pain we have endured has affected our very souls, juke. We are transformed by this experience whether we like it or not. Our WS are like strangers now. We sit in a mixture of bewilderment, tears, hate and love. This is indescribably painful.

This is not how a human being should have to feel. I think it is self-protection. It protects us from going crazy. It helps us to deal with the betrayal in smaller chunks.

It's almost like we're pulling away... our own fog is lifting... it's a new stage of grief...

Something like that. JMO

rpositive - Yeah, i understand. Last time WW came by the house she dropped some things in the garage and picked some things up. I heard her but didn't go out there. Just let her come and go.


SerendipiT - I have been in plan A/B I guess. Have been trying to plan A when around her and did really well a couple weeks ago, but now I don't feel like making the effort. Sick of it being all me. Yes, it probably is a defense mechanism. I wonder if indifference is a LB with WWs or makes them want us more? Feels great not to talk to her at all. Unfortunately I have to once a month at my appointment to keep my good deal. Yes, my love bank is shrinking. May turn into a hate bank after a while. I don't know.

What AmIDoing?- Well, at least u have several chances to break thru. My WW lives with OM and has since the day after D-day. She is a runner. How many WWs on here moved out right away like that? Not many. Made it hurt even more. Like a bad dream. Yes, I am transformed and I don't know if it's in a good way or not. I have a major wall built up now and could care less about anything lately. I am broken. But the way a feel changes yet the emational pain shrinks. More of a mental pain now.