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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2 |
Dear Dr. Harley, after almost of a year of separation from my husband due to his affair, we are trying to make the marriage work once again, he has broken the affair but i don't know how soon i can let him move in back in the house with us. my friends state that i should not let him move in right away because he has not worked hard enough to deserve it and also the kids (20 & 16) are skeptical that his father will move in and he will hurt this family again, he broke the affair at the beginning of June just before our second court hearing. I had read your book, Surviving and affair and Falling in Love, Staying in Love and I heard the tape His needs/Her needs. He is going to counseling to work out some of his issues. I do have still one concern, she (lover) still works at the same place he works (different blgds) she tried to communicate w/him a week later after he broke the affair, and he told that it was over for her no to bother him. what should I do, and how soon can I let him move back in with us? Please help me!! I am very confused. He has visited your website and has listened to the tape. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Welcome to marriage builders. Well I am not Dr. Harley, but I have some advice. Your husband needs to send a no contact letter to OW. It should be short. Dear OW - I love my wife and we are going to work on our marriage. Do not contact me for any reason.
Next, he needs to look for another job. He cannot work with her anymore.
After that, you and he should date for awhile so that you know these changes are permanent.
Stick with us, we will get you through this.
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,842
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,842 |
rt, If you want to address your questions directly to DR Harley himself, you must have a password to get into the Private forum specifically for MB seminar participants. That is the only place he will answer your one on one questions! Sorry! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,842
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Member
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,842 |
...BUT, that is not to say you cannot post any qyuestion here...this place is very helpful and they can really trully give some great advice1 Stick with us! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
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