Just got back from dropping my husband off at the airport and thought I'd give my final update to our visit--at least the final one unless something comes of it that I don't expect.

My overall impression of the visit is that it went very well. Not as well as I had HOPED, but MUCH better than I had EXPECTED. He was very loving, attentive and affectionate the whole time he was here. We did not get to do everything we had originally planned on but we didn't laze around at all which is a big plus--we were always busy doing something. I got a few "I love you's", unprompted by me, which made my heart sing (I think that's what I almost miss most about our marriage..the affectionate "I love you's" accompanied by a hand-squeeze or gentle kiss). He did wear his wedding ring the whole time he was here, which kinda surprised me (it's too small and he didn't even wear it all the time when things were ok between us).

He bought me some baby turtles and some stuff for my yoga class and some books, paid for all dinners, movies, etc. We spent a lot of time with his family (I LOVE being with his family--they're fun folks) and he always made sure to ask if that was o'kay with me or if I'd rather spend time alone with him.

We did have one R talk, but I think it went very well. There were no tears, no begging, etc on my part. The talk was very matter of fact. He asked what I meant by "working on things" and what I would expect should he agree to be more committed to it. I do not feel that anything has changed in that department (willing to work at it vs being COMMITTED to work at it), but I do feel that he's leaning more towards the possibility of committing to things. He did not say that he would and I won't ask <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> but I think he's more open to the possibility.

At the airport today he said he'd text me when he landed and call me when he got home. Another surprise--figured he'd just email me. Grin..we'll see if he actually does call tonight.

Last night as we were going to bed, he pulled me to snuggle on him and spooned me. He gave me a big squeeze and said that he did not want to leave. He said that he had a very nice week and that he loved me. I just gave him a kiss, a snuggle and an "I love you."

This week did not raise my expectations any. In some ways, despite what he said to me last night and what nice week we had--I kind of have lower expectations of what will happen with us in the end. I feel that he wants all doubts erased and I'm not sure he'll settle for anything less. It's something I need to remember because I cannot erase all of his doubts. But I feel that if he will commit to working on our marriage that we have a very good chance of making it. The question is whether or not he will commit and I just don't see that right now. BUT overall...I do not feel quite so "discarded" as I did before the visit. I feel loved, regardless of what happens in the end <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Sounds like yo had a nice visit. Hope everything works out for you. I can only hope that things will go that way for me down the road. I missmy H so much and miss the everyday things and the I love you's.
Your story gives me hope!!!!

glad to hear it maddy and it does sound like things went very well. remember sometimes we can't make LB deposits but if we can keep from making LB withdrawals i think we are still doing well. i think the harleys would be "approve" of your behavior and sounds like you ace'd a plan A.

keep doing what you're doing for as long as you can and when you can. of course i agree w/you that if spouses would work together then things would be different. i wouldn't even expect a commitment at this point in my own M. but just a willingness to TRY. i really truly believe and feel that if my H would just give me a chance, say a month, then he would really be able to see change and like you said, that's there's a possibility that what i have claimed could be true (that we can be happy, he can love me again, etc.). but until we are given a chance we just have to do the best we can, even if we are never given a chance.

prepare for the next leg of the race, which i think you said is the end of october. stay the course.

how's your mom BTW? continued prayers to you and yours, RR