I told all our OUR friends today about H having an A. They all know now!!!! He will have to face these people everyday! My son starts ball soon and one of our friends coaches with him....he's a good christian. Wonder what he will think of H now?
I feel a little better today since my friends know and can be there to help me through this. I'm actually going over to one of their houses tonight for dinner.
I cleaned out my H closet and put my stuff in there. I folded his stuff nice and neat and put it in the garage.
I am getting ready to start a new job and will try hard to occupy my mind until my H comes out of the FOG!!! Who knows when that will be!!!

I'm like you. I went for months not telling anyone what was going on. After it was out in the open, I felt so much better.

I do feel a little better but a couple of them think I should just give him the boot. It's hard to explain to people that I love this man and want to save my M.
My son is spending the night with H tonight. I hate it...I always feel so alone when he's not here. I go to bed alone and wake up alone. How long can I go on like this????

Sweetie - I have gone on alone for 18 months. It gets easier and easier. Just know that you will have better days ahead. I promise.

I told my friends early on and I am SO glad I did. Let them be there for you. You need people who will listen and let you know what a wonderful person you are. Sometimes you just need to talk and have someone who can hug you or hold your hand. One of the hardest things for me has been lack of human touch. I have my kids, but that's not exactly the same. My H always held me when I was sad or needed someone. Just because he's not there, doesn't mean you don't still need it OR that there aren't friends who will be there to hold you when you need it.

I'm glad you will have people to be there for you <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Treereich, if I recall, this is all very new to you, right? I have seen your pain on this board and just want to give you a hug. Thank you for your response to my post earlier <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Though my separation is new, our problems have been going on for awhile. On the one hand, I never thought it would get this bad, but on the other hand, I didn't expect that once they DID get this bad, that there could ever be a bright side. Once I got the, "I'm not sure I want to be married" speech...all I can say is--ugh!! And even though things went well with his visit, he did say that he has really been enjoying living alone. But he's only been alone a short time, so who knows? He still looks to me for support (and gets it).

No one can give you any guarantees..lord, don't you wish they could? Please protect your hope. If things do not work out in your marriage, your hope will get you through. Hope for a better future with or without your marriage. I know it's not that easy..but if that's all you've got right now than that's all you've got. Plus you've got us, people who understand and will support you no matter what happens. I'll tell you, i have very low expectations but I've got a MOUNTAIN of hope. Keep the faith, girl!

Yes, this is all fiarly new to me. It's only been 3 weeks, and 3 days!!! Seems like an eternity!!!! I'm crying my eyes out right now because my son just left and when I went in to give him a hug and kiss he was sitting at the table writing a letter to his dad. He wrote.......

"Dad, please come home. I miss you and mommy does too. I thought you were my buddy. I just want you home now. I love you.
When are you coming home to me and mom?"

That just tore me up inside!!!! He's just a kid...he shouldn't have to be dealing with this. His poor little heart is broken. My H came to the door and I just let my son go ...I din't talk to H at all. I just miss having my family all together under one roof.
I know what you mean about human touch!!!! I long for that. I miss getting hugs and goood night kisses from my H. I'm trying so hard to hold myself together. I guess as each dau passes it will get a little better. I do feel better now that my fds know and can help me through this.
My heart just aches so bad. When does it ever end????

Tree, I am so proud of you! I think it is good you told. The only reason I didn't is because H gave the "B" up and never left. Your H needs a wake up call. And cleaning out his stuff, and putting your stuff in the closet, was brilliant. No kidding. Show him you are getting your life in order. Go out with your friends. Look great. Fake it! If he's pissed that you told, so what. I told my H many times, "If you want to be with OW go. If what you had was soooo beautiful, then what do you have to be ashamed of if people know?"

How hard to see your son's pain. I hope every letter he writes your H sees. Is the OW married? If so, does her H know?

Do you know the Serenity Prayer? I say it a lot.
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Hugs to you! CV

Tree...You may not know it but you are giving me hope. Your strength has reached through to me. I've only exposed A to OM's family (mother). Reading your post and the feeling of relief you have really hit my heart. To know some of the pain you've had was lifted since exposing A to friends has motivated me to "spread the word, deal with the outcome".

Thank you for sharing your strength and as I watch my DD sleep (she is only 7 and we (WW/BS) have kept it from her so far), I'll pray for you and your son.

Good morning! I am feeling ok today so far. I haven't cried yet!!!! Yeah!!!
I do feel like a wight has been lifted off of me by telling my friedns and having someone to talk to about it.

CV....no the OW isn't M....she's 32 and is a Doctor. How do I compete with that??
Actually, I don't feel that I have to...I am a great person and wonderful wife and mother and that will stick in my H mind.

I'm glad I could offer hope to others. I am trying really hard to just stay strong. Some days are harder than others.

My son called me this morning before he left for school. He is my heart!!!! I was lying in bed last night thinking about him and decided that I am going to put all of my efforts into him. My H is no longer here and when and if he decides to come back he will have a lot to make up. He's missing out on a lot not being here everyday with our son. My son is a wonderful young man and deserves the best!!!!

My friend and I have started out own cleaning business so I'm off to take my mind off of things. It's a great way to make money and still be able to pick my son up from school and spend the evening with him. I'm in the "thinking about ME mode" this morning. Can't say what the night will bring but one step at a time right?

Tree, doctor, smoctor! So what? Who cares? So she's a doctor! I'm sure her patients would just love to know she broke up someone's family.

Is your H a doctor? Seems that profession has a lot of As happening. Anyway, you are the one with integrity. She's a 32 year old schmuck at the moment.

You really are doing great. I can see your strength increasing every post you write. If you can afford it call Steve Harley. I talked to him today. He has a way of just helping me understand these As. CV

TR honey your strength inspires me too.

We CAN do this you and I ! ((( TR )))

I'm trying....I really am!!!! I do feel a bit stronger each day. I think my anger mode is kicking in.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
My son said he asked my H last night when he was coming home and my H said I don't know! My son just can't seem to understand that response. I'm having a hard time explaining all of this to him. He keeps saying..."daddy will come home soon".
I do miss my H, I miss his touch, I miss knowing he's here to protect us, I miss so much about him right now. I think that is the hard thing for me at this point. I'm dealing with it the best I know how right now.

Cv...No, my H isn't a doctor! He says he sees so much oppotunity for him with her. What does that mean? He's so screwed up right now. We're having hurricane warnings here and he hasn't even called to see if we are ok and to make sure we have what we need. Good thing I have friends.....My son and I will be staying the night over there. I just don't understand what he's doing!!!!!!!!
I'm trying to be upbeat for me and my son. I'm sure I will fall apart from time to time but at least I can come here to do it with people who are going through the same thing and can offer comfort. Hang in there Bob...we will make it throgh this!!!!!!!!!!!!!