I don't know where i'm suppose to post. soo many topics.

i feel like we are going backwards with our marriage.

This is a good place to post <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> This forum gets a lot of traffic and is especially good for when you're not sure where you should go.

Welcome to MB and...what's your story <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

well, i found out my hb had an affair. the affair happen the first year of our marriage. i didn't find out until 3 yrs. into our marriage. because the affair was still going on. even though he claim it wasn't and that the phone calls were for her to listen to him. calls every chance he was free. his way to work, breaks, lunch and way home and somethings cut out on his games at night to talk to her. cell phone bills prove all this. i was shocked, hurt and so much more. they both admit to the first affair after months of trying to get them to admit. still afterwards the affair kept going. i love him so much that i couldn't let him go.

when things broke loss, he wanted to leave, file for divorce, etc. i begged him to stay.

we can't be happy for a whole month.

after 5 yrs. of marriage and what is it 3 and a half yrs. of knowing this, i had to do something. i moved out with no regrets.

he came to me after two weeks of not talking to me. told me he changed. doesn't go out. etc. he became more open to me. more of a husband then ever.

now that i'm back in the house, he wasn't talking to me. act like i don't exist at the house. it's been very hard. i've been back to his house for almost 3weeks.

my question is, how can i get that girl/wife out of ourlives. Her and her friends? when they call him he hides in his room to talk to him. he give me bad attitudes. talk all tough to me and so much more.

i still want to save our marriage. i know without this girl and her gf's i know he will be nice to me. i know he loves me for the fact that he came looking for me when i moved out. it's just that we can't be friends and hang out together and talk on the phone for more than 2 minutes. HELP! i can't find anything to talk to him about. when i do, he cuts me short. how can he talks to those girls for long period of times and return their calls but never minds?

lostoneisme, hopefully others will chime in because I'm pretty new here and don't feel like I always give the best advice or peptalks!

OK, this affair is still going on. He still has contact with her...and her friends!!!!! Please go to the main site, read the basic concepts and especially Plan A/Plan B. This website can give you a world of hope. Sometimes it's a little depressing to read the boards, BUT..there are people here who truly understand what you're going through. The funny things is...affairs are NOT unique. It's so funny when I talk to my husband about stuff like affairs and statistics..I get the..."well, i don't believe in that--my mom blah blah blah and my dad blah blah blah". Of course there are exceptions to everything...but when something is true 75% of the time..well..duh! Not many exceptions! Anyway, all I'm trying to say is that there are things you can do!

The only way to get this girl and friends out of your life is for your husband to make sure it happens. It doesn't sound like he's ready to do that and it's why he's running hot and cold with you. He doesn't know if he wants to be without you and he's keeping his options open.

Please read!! Hopefully others will come in and give you more concrete and better advice!

Lost, why do you think your H is having this affair? Do you think he feels fulfilled in his marriage? Has he been having this affair since the start of your marriage?

Is the OW married? Where do they see each other?