I was fine. I was at the hotel watching T.V. Maybe it had something to do with all of the Olympics talk on TV. Maybe it's because it's Thursday (even though I know the girl is out of town). Maybe it's because the town the girl looking for a roommate wants to meet in tonight is the town that H teaches in today and I just realized the place she wants to meet at is about 4 blocks from his work. Okay, I know that's freaking me out a bit now but I wasn't really thinking about it at the hotel. I was watching the Simpsons and all of a sudden my heart sank and felt like it was beating all over the place. Then I felt extreamly lonely. I don't like this feeling I'm getting right now. It's kind of a scared/shakey/cold(temp.)feeling and I feel a little light headed. It could just be that I'm getting sick. My throut has been sore all day and I keep losing my voice. It's probably just this cold dreary weather we're having here in Chicagoland. I don't know. I just came to the library so I could write to you guys and to keep me from calling H. I keep having these day-dreams of him wanting to visit me (which I know is not the case at all). I just need to stay away from him. I know I want to see him and I know I want him around me but I have to keep myself from trying to reach him. I have to keep myself from wanting to check his website to see if he's written anything else hurtful about me and keep myself from checking his club's website where the last message he sent me is unopened. I didn't want to even go there to erase it for fear that the title would be hurtful enough. I feel like I'm going a little nutty today. I feel super clingy without anyone to cling to. Hopefully this roommate thing works out tonight. I might go stay at a friend's house after tonight until I find a place. Hopefully that works out as well.

The feeling you describe - the heart pounding, cold sweats, that sort of thing, are all part of it. And they SUCK! It is an anxiety attack. They come on suddenly - without any provocation. I remeber that I would get them in the car, or sitting at my desk at work, or on the coach at home.
For me, the anti-depressants took care of the anxiety attacks. Thankfully. there were times when the attacks really made me feel like I was losing my mind.
Perhaps a cup of tea? Find something soothing, that smells good to you. Cinnamon, or peppermint are 2 of my favorites.
You are really doing well - you are a very smart woman. You recognize that even though you WANT to talk to him - it is a VERY BAD idea. Hang in there.

I know how you feel. I'm going thorugh the same thing. I want so badly to call my WH and talk....I guess a part of me hopes that when I talk to him he will say "I'm so sorry and I love you". Wishful thinking, I know. It just hurts so badly! I feel your pain and hope things will work out for you.

Unfortunatly, no matter how much I want to work things out I know deep down that I'm better off without the crazy fool. I don't know if I can be with someone who allowed himself to be in a R with a 15 year old.

II , I had a panic attack overnight. Heart beating like a jackhammer, cold sweat, panicking. It sound glib but I prayed through it and took a sleeping pill. I awoke with a normal heartbeat, no sweating and a calmness restored.

If you are on no other A-D meds I vcan recommend 'natracalm' or some other passiflora Incarnata herbal calming remedy.

I took this successfully when I had palpitations last year. Also worked brilliantly in controlling my IBS.

It calms the muscles allowing the mind to become freed of panic without making you think fuggy.