I am fairly new here. I posted something earlier this week (Mon. 8/9/04) telling my story. I'm not sure how to point anyone to that post. Well, things have gotten worse here. WH has gone to stay in a local hotel to "think". However, he won't do anything to help himself. I have been trying to get him to talk to a counselor and get some anti-depressant drugs. But he won't admit that he is depressed. Total denial that that may even be a possiblity. And he would never ask a doctor for them. So, I asked him if I could call his general doctor and ask if they would call him something in. I feel as though we are not going anywhere until I get him out of this deep depression.

Anyway, they have called in Lexapro. I have never heard of this one. When I looked it up online it seems to have lots of side effects. I don't want to make things worse.

He says that he is just walking around like a zombie (fog?). He says it is like he is alive but not alive. And when I show any emotion (which I'm trying to make things happy here and not show it, but I slipped last night) he turns to stone. He came home for supper last night because we had parents night at the elem. school. When I saw him I couldn't help but show my emotions. I knew I shouldn't have the minute they came out. I truly believe that he the guilt of it all is destroying his will for life. And I am scared to death. He won't open up to me and when I mention a counselor he says "We'll see". I love him so much. He thinks the boys don't care whether he is here or not because he works a lot anyway. That is soooo not true. I have sent him emails of how many times they have asked me when he is coming home.

I spoke with his mother last night who is now very distraught. I saw the thread on whether this is hereditery. His father had many As and was gone when WH was 9. And his sister did the same thing several years ago. I think he has many, many unresolved issues with his father who died 2 years ago. Now, it is too late to resolve anything with his father. He says that he was just like an acquaintance rather than a father. He is terrified that he is turning out just like him. He seems to be sinking further and further into isolation. I really don't think that he is in any contact (other than at work-yes, he still works with her) with OW. I know he feels bad that he still thinks about her. He says it is not fair to me for him to stay here if he is still thinking about her. But I think he is in a deep conflict with himself that he is desperately trying to fight. But he is trying to fight it alone. He doesn't even have a friend to talk to. Does anyone think the Lexapro will help him at least to get to the point where he will seek help? And how long does it take to get into your system?

<small>[ August 13, 2004, 03:29 PM: Message edited by: naivegirl ]</small>

Everybody's reaction is different, that's why they list so many side effects. It's mostly about liability.

I'm on Lexapro right now. Sometimes I think it might have saved my hide, though I don't think it would have gone that far. Being alive was scary for a few days when I was at my lowest point.

I had a few side effects the first week (tongue-tied when I spoke, some diarrhea, some loss of sex drive), but those are all gone now. They say all SSRIs cause delayed ejaculation in men. I haven't been getting any action the last few months, so I couldn't remark on that one. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

After being on the Lexapro for about 5 days the deep despair and panic attacks and crying jags stopped. I can still sense the moods, but they just don't go as far.

GC

Thanks for the info. I am going to the pharmacy to get it now. His mother is going to take it to him. But he told her he wasn't going to take it. So I don't quite know what to do if he won't help himself. This is getting really scary. I still feel deep sadness and anger over what happened, but now I am more worried about him and his mental stability. He denies that he has a problem just like both his sisters have done in the past. And he has gotten so angry with them over their stubborness and unwillingness to cooperate and help themselves. I just pray that he will take them.

NG

I was on lex for awhile with no real side effects but I remained depressed. Meds in general don't always work for me so maybe it's just me. Dr tried some others but welbutrin seems to be the best for me.
H

naivegirl,

I take Lexapro, too. I've taken several different SSRI's over the years, and I think I like this one the best (it's a toss-up between this and Celexa, which is very similar, but my insurance quit paying for Celexa so I switched).

I still have moods--still can get anxious or sad or have a good cry on this stuff. I don't think it's quite as strong as my Celexa was, but I also take a lower dose. But I'm happy overall with where it leaves me.

No real side effects. When I start SSRI's in general after being off a while, I feel a bit anxious and jittery for a week or so, sometimes my fingers tingle, and have had some sexual side effects myself, but they passed shortly with Celexa and Lexapro. (Paxil and Serzone were however, were AWFUL...for multiple reasons..wouldn't recommend them unless it was a last resort.)

I hope Lexapro helps you and it does take some time (weeks) to have it's full effect, so hang in there.

LL

I appreciate the info. I just starting taking Wellbutrin myself. I think that is what has helped me get through this last week. That and a lot of prayers and finally confiding in a close friend. And also I finally talked to his mother. I am getting the Lexapro for my WH. I pray that it helps him. I got it filled, but the doc wants to see him the first of next week. I don't know if he'll go. I'll keep praying.