hi everyone....first off i would like to say that there is a spin on last nites episode. Apparently WH didnt call me, our D called him, and then handed me the phone. Didnt find that out till later.

I know your wondering how that mix up happened, well we have 3 phones throughout our house, 2 of them the ringer doesnt ring, so i didnt hear the phone, i had the door closed in here. I thought he called me, but he didnt. Anyway, i guess it really doesnt matter.

Now to today, I left to go drive D to a friends, i just am up the highway a bit, and i pass him. Ok, i know he is going to our house. I drive my D to her friends which is almost an hour there and back. On the way home i pass him again, we made eye contact but i didnt wave or anything.

Get home 17 S, says yep he was here. Wanted his damm pay stubs, he found them. Gee i should have made copies of them. He asked S why arent you talking to me, S said well what do you think. WH say well D is talking to me.

Wh says well arent i allowed to live my own life the way i want. S says, well you lived here 18 years. Wh says (this part infuriates me) I didnt live here 18 years, i put up with it for 18 years. ugggggggggggggggg.

He took his tool kit, and his pay stubs. Says to S , get my computer put together and format it and will be back for it (didnt say when, i guess next weekend).

He went next door to talk to the neighbor about getting the guy he knows to come and do a new roof. WH, said to neigbor, tell W, to pay the down payment for the shingles, and then when job is done pay the guy for the labour (take this from our joint line of credit, he said).

All this we did discuss last nite on the phone. Like what does all this mean. I guess he didnt want to wait for the pay stubs to come in the mail like i told him.

He is showing such concern over this roof, that he even went next door to disucss if with the neighbor. I am close to our neighbors, they are very good people, they will look out for me and WH knows that, so maybe thats why.

Even 17 S said to me, Mom that man has lost it, he's crazy. He doesnt even seem like the same person.

Last nite on the phone, i said dont worry about our roof. He said yes i have to worry, i dont want water leaking in on the kids (all summer S bedroom was leaking when it rained really hard).It has to be fixed before winter hits.

Ok, this is what i want to have happen our next conversation.

H
When you have looked into what support payments will be made to me, let me know, and i will start withdrawing it from our joint account.

You have said that you have no intentions of coming back and wish to get on with your life. Yes, you need to get on with your life, and so do I. (my reverse babble, Orchid, please help here).

We are H and W, NOT PALS as it seems to me you want to be. You wanted out, guess what Your Out,please, go and live your life like you wanted.

YOu know my one and only condition, should you ever have a change of heart.

I love you
W

AC,

You have good support from your son. Good. I know you are there for him also. He does need to vent.

As for the roof, it does need to be tended to, the WS will probably want a lot of points for that repair. Let him have it. He lost a lot when he lost his pants. LOL!!!

Your practice run on your responses sounds good. Reverse babble takes a while you will get the hang of it. I even used to practice in the bathroom mirror (with the shower running or after my son went to sleep - <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ).

Now as for the computer? I would put a nice family picture on his screen saver. Block her e-mail addy from WS'? If your son wants to put something like 'OW is a _. _. _. _." Just the letters and let them figure it out, that c/b doable. LOL!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> When the WS gets angry, just give him that long pause (as you cover the phone to laugh) or give him a blank stare (this one is harder, you may have to practice). <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

L.

HI Orchid....he just sent me another email
W
Just grabbed a few things hope you dont mind.Was just driving by from a tow call and seen that you would not have to deal with me. When mom comes up tomorrow could you give her my visa and line of credit. So i can have something to work with for bills.
please and thank you , H

This man is nuts, he thinks were gonna be pals and buddies.

He is being so nice, gee should i worry?

Funny you should say that about the computer. S did do something along that line. You know when your computer turns on and you get to the screen with your names. Well , S, instead of their names (OW and H), he put.....

CHEATER

HOMEWRECKER

I told S, to take it out, but should i get him to put it back in. I like your idea too, screensaver of our family and OW is a ________

Should i really send his computer to him with that. He will be mad.

What about the nasty comment he made to S. The one where S said, you lived here for 18 yrs., H said no, i put up with it for 18 yrs. This really hurt. Was that fog babble?

Gee, i hope i dont mess this plan b up. You need to know what your doing with this reverse babble, so i hope you dont mind me running things by you first.

Thanks so much
A/C0810

AC,

How sad that a father has to be sooo cruel to his son. But it is the father that will have to live with the knowledge that he made his son feel that the 18 years of his son's life was forced upon him. It will certainly take more than a simple aplogoy to fix that stupid comment.

I think you got the hang of that reverse babble stuff. It isn't that hard but kinda like going to plan B, seems impossible but eventually we get the hang of it.

The improvements often happen quicker than we expect. The fear of plan B is great. It is certainly blown out of proportion by many. Once you do it, you realize you don't have to be a door mat and some BS' kick themselves for not doing it sooner.

But in most cases, the BS can't do it sooner because the heart and mind have to be in sync in order for a good plan B to work. Reverse babble helps bring the heart in line with the mind.

Give your son a hug for standing by you for being soooo creative. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

L.

Hi Orchid....thanks for your insights.

Well in a couple of hours WH's Mom will be here for S's birthday.

I dont know how i should act. I know she will report to H about our afternoon together.

Should i use my plan b tactics with her. I know i might just break down crying, and so forth, acting like a blubbering wounded W.

Maybe try my best not to discuss anything about the whole mess at all.

What direction should i go, cause i know she will report back to him.

Im sorry, i just cant seem to figure out anything on my own these days.

I appreciate your help so much, thank you

A/C0810

Hi AC,

Sorry for the late response. Been out picking up furniture. :rollingeyes: <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I am sure you already handled your issue but I think if you put on your best self to your MIL, it w/b a good report to your H (but a bad report to the WS - if you know what I mean - <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ).

L.