Lost -

Can your relationship be saved? No one knows, all you can do is read the MB concepts and if they make sense to you, implement them. Keeping in mind that you can change but you can't change anyone else.

P.S.
I am glad I don't have friends like you, that would steal my spouse and destroy my life. Maybe now that you are feeling the devastation of infidelity from the other side, you will learn and grow, and understand.

Pep -

What price the divorce??? Since Lost won't answer you, I will answer for him -

He doesn't know what he has paid yet for her divorce, as the real costs are just now starting to be tallied.

Hello Lost In Pain,

please tell us some more.
Your posts are so short and you react to only parts of the answers.
This makes me wonder if your mother tongue isn't English. Or if this posts are for real.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

That's the only reaction I can express in regards to some of the responses.

LIP,

Have you read through the concepts here? Can you give more specifics about your situation?

Can you write more than, "hi"?

We would like to help but you aren't giving us anything.

Dear Friends

We are not married yet...To tell the truth I never felt that I should marry her, because I need more commitment and I always felt that I made a big mistake for taking someone's wife.

I have read all concepts here and I love them.

I want her in my life,but at the same time I think she is a serial cheater and she problably will cheat on the new guy too.

Her husband at the time was 46 year old, she was 26 and I was 27 year old.

Any advice?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Lost in pain:
<strong> Dear Friends

We are not married yet...To tell the truth I never felt that I should marry her, because I need more commitment and I always felt that I made a big mistake for taking someone's wife.

I have read all concepts here and I love them.

I want her in my life,but at the same time I think she is a serial cheater and she problably will cheat on the new guy too.

Her husband at the time was 46 year old, she was 26 and I was 27 year old.

Any advice? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If there are no children involved between the 2 of u, run RUN quickly. Don't look back. Then go get yourself some real IC help. Call Jennifer C @ MB for some phone counseling.


You just lost 8 years of your life that you can not get back. Why wait to lose more? No one should take that long to make a commitment for M.

L.

<small>[ August 19, 2004, 05:29 PM: Message edited by: Orchid ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Lost in pain:
<strong>

Any advice? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">RUN for your life and take a lesson from this, lest you repeat it. Stay away from married women and alley cats.

<small>[ August 19, 2004, 06:17 PM: Message edited by: MelodyLane ]</small>

Thank you my friends..


I'll surely run for my life

She is at home right now! Now she is telling me that she loves me and want to marry me... She was living with another man for 6 months. Can I trust her? She told me everything before coming home,but she told me that she was living with someone else when she arrives here...Now I don't know what to say ou do....I'm so sad for this whole situation. She doesn't want to go to IC.

Sounds like she needs a new flop house.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by aussie2:
<strong> LIP

You must understand that it is very hard for so many here to give you advice which is to many is to continue an affair based relationship.
You are the person that any BS fears from the point of destroying their Marriage and whose behaviour they LOATH.

You have given very little info on the affair so it has been taken on face value. I guess thats because for you it was 8 years in the past. But in our eyes it doesn't matter.

I find it hard myself even though I am new here as a BS. I have been doing a lot of reading here and elsewhere learning more about affairs then I have ever wanted to.

Firstly you must realise that it is very rare for any relationship that was created from an affair situation as yours to last very long. Research indicates 12 months to 3 years seems to be the average. That yours has lasted 8 years is more the exception to the rule. Though you say there has been quite a bit of strife.

I believe you will have great difficulty getting your GF back at all. Again this opinion is based on research not any info you have provided as there has not been much.

LIP, you did help in creating the situation you find yourself in. You seduced and encouraged a wife to leave her M. This woman then became your GF and I would suggest has not been really happy or satisfied in this relationship since her divorce. In fact she may even have come to resent YOU greatly for encouraging her to divorce in the first place.

I suggest that over time she may have come to see you as the perpetrator and she the victim, of course the truth is that both of you were wrong then.

I think its possible that she has come to see that there is NOTHING wrong in what she has done, first to her H and then to you.
You see, if she ever came to realise this, that it was wrong to cheat on you, then you would loose her anyway because she would know this latest relationship as well as her relationship with you are unsupportable. She would then be wrong on both ocassions.

We are are all reading between the lines here LIP based on the 'tone' of your post and the info you have provided.

I honestly don't see how methods created to maintain, support and hopefully repair a Marrriage/Defacto M, through the pain and horror of infidelity can help you in this case. At least from my limited knowledge of it all.

Lost, sometimes you just have to let it go and continue on with your life as painful as that may be. From what you have and have not said I think its best for both of you. Though I doubt you will see that right now.
Sometimes in life you lose.

Lost, pick yourself up, spit life right in the eye and start again. In the circumstances its the best advice I can give you. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LIP--rather than quoting bits and pieces, please read and reread aussie's response.

Now, two quotes from *YOU*:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">To tell the truth I never felt that I should marry her...</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I think she is a serial cheater and she problably will cheat on the new guy too.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Will the real "new guy" please stand up?
You are still young...take it as a very hard lesson in life. Move on.

so much for the "bits and pieces"...Pep asked a questiona nd I am sure darn curious (you were 18 at the time!!):

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Pepperband:

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Originally posted by Lost in pain:
I even paid for her to divorce the guy...


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How much?

Pep


Run.

<small>[ September 09, 2004, 08:14 AM: Message edited by: LINY ]</small>

Dear Lost In Pain,

no you can't trust her. Why is she back and now wants to get married? Does she need a green card maybe?

You seem to be very addicted to this woman's beauty - the beauty on the outside, that is. Because the inside isn't so beautiful. Maybe you have to learn the hard way that is not a good combination.

From what you have told us, she seems to be using men to get what she wants or needs. Maybe you don't mind being used by her because she's beautiful?

Isn't it time to look for a partner that REALLY loves you and doesn't just use you to get what she wants (a place to stay, money, green card maybe) before she moves on to the next man and breaks your heart again?

If you want us to give you some advice, you really need to tell us what you think of the things we say.

Dear Friends


Me and my girlfriend are not married yet.. We have been living together for 8 years...She cheated on her husband with me and now she is cheating on me... She is at home right now,but I want to ask her to leave.. any advice?

LIP...I'm not sure of where you are coming from. I really don't understand. Reread the entire thread, *THEN* ask that same question again.

Best wishes.