Well......

If a man or woman who owns a gun (or any other weapon) called me up to threaten suicide unless I did what he wanted me to do ....

I would....

Call 911
then I would go stay somewhere else where he did not know about......

Because.....

Sometimes a contemplated suicide morphs into a contemplated homicide!

Ever heard of "murder / suicide" ? The usual senario is one where the "suicide" individual is rageful toward the one they called and threatened to kill themselves.

And they DO kill themself, after killing the object of their rage first!

Sooooooo

You cannot stop a motivated adult from killing himself .... after you call 911 your job is over .... ESPECIALLY if you are the person they are angry with!

You find out where he is exactly, you hang up, and you call 911. You do not try to talk him out of suicide ... because YOU are the one he's mad at.

And, if it turns out to be a manipulation tactic, which it very well might be, you have called 911 and he now has to deal with the consequences of his threat / manipulation .... the police, mental health officials .... and, very importantly ... A PUBLIC RECORD OF HIS THREAT .... in case there are children to be fought for in a custody battle at a later date.

Pep

<small>[ August 17, 2004, 10:12 AM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]</small>

I totally agree with Pepper. Call the officials and do not get involved with trying to talk him out of it, etc. In his mind you are the reason he feels this way, tho he likely wouldn't admit that outright.

My H is a police Lt. and he's been called to many suicides. And a couple murder/suicides (husband/wife). He doesn't remember ever going to the scene of a suicide that he'd been called to before due to a threat of suicide.

Believe me, the police would MUCH rather be called to deal with a threat of suicide than a completed one. It's just too sad for words.

Lori

This morning, I got up and called and made myself another appointment with Steve Harley.

Then, I sent my WH an email saying that I loved him with all my heart, and was still madly in love with him even after all that has been going on.

I told him if he felt like this again, to call the suicide hotline, and gave him the number.

I also told him that I had made arrangements with Marriage Builders so that he could talk to Steve Harley, and I would pay for it. Also gave him that number.

I told him that I still stand by what I said to him. And that I had already sent him the Plan B letter.

I also said that I was here for him if he decided to make things right with me. But that he also needed to make things right with God. He is the only one who can forgive us for our sins.

I hope his nephew can get through to him.

Still in Plan B. Dark. Midnight. No moon.

Just a fence with splinters, and cake with no frosting.

Thanks again guys. K

Told WH basically what is in Plan B letter. Told him he was free now to see and call OW.
Plan B is not giving them permission nor should you tell them they have permission to see the op.

On August 16, 2004 10:57 PM, you wrote,
Plan B. Dark. Midnight. No moon.

then on August 17, 2004 03:38 PM, you wrote,
Then, I sent my WH an email saying...
I told him...
I also told him...
I told him...
I also said...

And finally you wrote,
Still in Plan B. Dark. Midnight. No moon.
If you are in Plan B, there is no communicating.
Don't tell him you will not communicate with him, then write him a letter telling him you are sticking by your words.
Plan B is not easy, especially in your situation.

Call the cops if he suggests he's gonna commit suicide.

Chris..

I guess I've done and said some things that are wrong. I'm (fortunately) new to all this.

Sometimes a person has to step away from what their plans were according to the situation.

I did not feel wrong in contacting WH considering the messages he left me, etc.

I can only do better than I have been. My resolve has not changed. I will no longer be a party to WH triangle.

Thanks for your input... K

Yeah, it's difficult to get a handle on it.
One of the reasons these forums were developed is to help others along in the process and to get some help in th euse of MB principles.

Have you read, Surviving An Affair"? (please say you have?)
This is the guide for Plan A and Plan B.

Have you given any thought to calling Marriage Builders and speaking with Steve Harley or Jennifer Harley? (see link below)

Thanks Chris...

Yes, I have read SAA, LB, and HN/HN. I also had my first session with Steve Harley last Thursday.

Have another appointment with him on 8/27.

If you have any other suggestions, please let me know.

Thanks, K

I Was WRONG.... INTERVENTION DOES WORK .... THANK YOU WAY 2.

The advise I had received was personal to our situ & counsellors knowledge of my being manipulated.

On reflection & awareness I now admit ignorance and would say to anybody INTERVENE in person if it is safe for you to do so or get PROFESSIONAL'S to help.

Thanks for the insight.

Peace to all.
Ktulu