Hi all.....I started writing some notes in a journal. I know we are not supposed to be thinking about such, but i guess i am a bugger for punishment. Anyway here is what i wrote about what i think my WH is experiencing during his current leaving home and his A.

BAD THINGS HE FEELS - (please note, i beleive these statement to be true, but i could be wrong)

----financial concern for us
----to some degree misses wife, kids and home
----realizing he is a cheater
----having extreme money problems now
----not all needs being met
----broke his wedding vows
----Son wont speak to him
----friends and family are dissappointed in him
----has no home right now, no where to hang his hat
----feelings of sadness that he has inflicted pain on his loved ones. (MIL noticed it in talking)
----Wife wont talk with him (plan b)

GOOD THINGS HE FEELS

----Intense love with OW
----Great Sex with OW
----Happiness with OW
----releived he has made the break from us
----Good conversation/exciting & intriguing new Woman
----Excited to be starting a new life.

Ok, dont actually know where i am going with this. I think i am losing it.

thanks for reading all - please reply if you dont fear to dread into my world of doom and gloom.

A/C0810


A/C0810

A/C,
Your negative list seems pretty solid, things you've seen or heard from others, your positive list are all things you have no idea if they are true or not.

Part of Plan B is to spare you from having your H drain your lovebank. I think you are draining your own lovebank for him by guessing he's having great sex, intense love, and that she's fascinating...for all you know his life sucks every time he's with her <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> .

Unless you do have an objective for the list, put it away and go out and do something fun today or tonight. See a movie, go to a park, get ice cream, go to the gym, hike, have a picnic, read a book, get a massage...take a break.

Just let all the trouble slip from your mind, even if it's for only a couple hours.

I think the positive list you feel your WH may be feeling is inacurate, it would be impossible for him to feel those things while simultaneasly feeling the negative things listed above it.

You are imagining things which simply can not be true. So give yourself a break and forget the list.

Instead, make a list of what you are feeling - good points about your marriage versus bad points. Be honest, I bet the bad things outweigh the good things by a long shot. Or better yet list all your good qualities and what you have to offer. Your love is a gift, don't lose sight of that.

Your WH is getting a good dose of reality right now, and believe me it isn't all rosy.