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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 55
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 55
FWS out there. If you are familiar with Tom Joad's situation. Please post a few things for his WW who is pursuing a divorce from him. She met a man from the internet.

Maybe she will read this.

Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 8,297
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Well, I'm familiar with the situation but I'm not quite sure what to say.

I guess the first thing to say is that I'm unbelievably glad the fog cleared and that my H was there for me still when it did.

I think it's fair to say I rewrote our 27 year marriage, I thought the OM was "the love of my life", I was willing to give up my H and (grown) family for him. OM was old HS b/f that I nearly married but didn't because he was never going to be anything but boring and conservative (well, other reasons too but I was only 18 when I made that decision). Guess what, he still is boring and conservative, but because we had a "torrid" affair he seemed much more exiting - but I knew he really wasn't.

It even feels funny writing all this now. An unfoggy FWW has a hard time remembering what it felt like to be foggy.

All I ever say to myself now when I look in the mirror is "WHAT WAS I THINKING."

Jen

Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 154
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mrs. joad...you are me a couple of years ago, except you got caught...I can't tell you that your internet 'love' is not worth giving up your 'real' life for...only you can determine that, but I can tell you that I also met my 'soulmate' on the internet 5 years ago...I can also tell you that, I have had numerous chances to run off and be with him, and I never once did it...why?...because even through that lovely veil of fantasy we created together, I knew that there was no way in hell that this man that I had never lived with...who had never seen me look my worst, never seen me puking my guts out or running for the bathroom, or anything else unappealing, could ever love me the way I was/am loved by my H...
In the end my OM proved to be just what he seemed to be..a user and abuser who would have left my life in ruins...

Mrs. Joad, you have in front of you a husband who loves you so very much that he is willing to put himself, his pride and his very soul on the line for you...and on the other side..far, far, away, you have this man that makes you feel very good in this moment, but has not near the morals or devotion to you as your H..and know that if you walk away from this man, there may be no coming back...

There is a poster here...I believe her name is Hopefulperson? (if I'm wrong on that someone please correct me) She pretty much left her husband and family for a 'soulmate' she met on the internet..I am going to try to dig up her posts so you can read them and see what you are likely facing if you stay on this road...I think it was Led Zeppelin who said, "There are two paths we can go by...but in the long run, there's still time to change the road we're on".....

Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 924
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SPD, that was nice of you. Wish it some effect, even if only for the children.

Dreamcatcher, I have always enjoyed your posts. It gave me alot of insight in to how my WW may be feeling.

Unfortunately, am not holding much hope. Have lost a lot of love for her the past few months. But I guess I would still rather work on repairing the marriage than tossing it away and putting our kids through it all.


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