How many WS's confessed only to an EA because they were afraid to admit the PA?

If so, does it eat you up inside? Would you feel better to tell the whole truth?

If you truely want your marraige to work you need to confess the hole truth asap, I am going through this myself I was the one being cheated on and I must admit that the hole truth hurts but I know that if I found out more details later I would leave without a second thought, you cannot truely work on your marriage untill you admit all you have done wrong and all the lies are out in the open, and you need to understand all the pain and anger you will recieve at first and I hope you understand that some things that are said @ first are from the pain and anger. Time heals all wounds!!!

Skylar, Too Soon is the betrayed spouse.

Too Soon, cwmac's wife did this but you'd really need to talk to him. Perhaps if you put out a call to him.

Jenny

Sorry I guess I was not paying close attention and did not mean to sound incentive had a really bad day!!! Maybe spouse only had a EA Have you tried counseling?? It seems to help me however as you can see I still have bad days where my mind is all messed up, From what I gather in either situation EA or PA yu will be confused for a while!! Sorry again

Too Soon,

I just posted an abbreviated version of my story in response to another BH whose wife had "just" an EA.

Here's the link.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=29;t=004539;p=2#000015

Does any of this seem familiar?

Hi KiwiJ!!!!! I've missed talking to you.

Mac

CwMac:

Thanks for your post. I always wondered if sex was really there but she maintains the same story about the timelines since she started confessing. She told the OM that she did not want to have sex but that comment made me feel like they did at least once and he wanted it more. She told me she said it when the kissing and hugging began because she was feeling like it was going too far and she wasn't comfortable and she wanted to back the OM down from expectations. She admits though the relationship was growing rapidly and both began declaring their love for each other. This happened in Dec of 03 and I caught the A in Jan 04. I think one more trip out of town and I think they would have consumated their love physically.

Two things come to mind to give me a frame of mind on this issue yet I will always wonder anyway. Dr. harley or someone else said it is a longer road from the friendship stage to the first kiss then it is from the first kiss to the sack. That is important to me because the Hugging and Kissing started in December and they were caught in Jan.

Also, my FWW was so mad at me post DD and during her fog state that she may have told me she had sex with him to make me more hurt. I would expose her and she would retaliate with more hurt. After DD and with the threat of more exposure she gave me information on times, dates, locations, movies, dinners, lunches, motorcycle rides, car rides in the country, etc. It appears these happened during their early courting period with the OM.

During so called early recovery, I found out she was looking for apartments with the OM to make the break from me and the kids so I kicked her out one night. She stayed all night on his couch, she claims. The only reason that may be true was because she was terribly distressed and she on the heart of her period. I am not niave anymore and I know she may have slept in his bed that night with or without sex.

With or without sex, the betrayal still happened. It seems a little easier thinking that they didn't have sex but she lied for 8 months and she may take that part to her grave. I don't think I will ever know.

Our marriage is coming back slowly and not easily at all. I think we can make it but only time will tell. I told her I will not fight her or fight for her anymore. If I see or feel any sense that she is not into the marriage, she should leave and get an apartment. So far, she seems willing to stay. I have changed through this ordeal. I don't put her on a pedistal anymore and I have learned that I can't make her stay and be happy. I got her to stay but I don't think either of us our the same today. We have both been damaged by her Affair. I am in hopes that I can get my love back for her and vice versa like before.

Thanks again for your story.

Too Soon