Just an update....

Last night WH left a message on the voice mail.

He said he really missed me, and loves me. Wanted to know if everything at the house was going okay. If the vehicle was working okay. And how was the puppy doing.

He said he's really been thinking a lot. Not being able to talk to me was really hard for him.
(Hope so, he used to call me 3-5 times a day)

I listened, and wanted to scream to him "Refer to the letter!".

Also wanted to say "yes everything here is okay! I've been taking care of everything myself since you moved out last November to your own apartment!"

Guess he doesn't want to believe I can get along on my own.

He didn't say anything about NC letter, or OW. I know DD has been spending a lot of time with him since Plan B, and WH suicide threat, so don't know if he is seeing OW or not. Don't really care.

Sad thing is (only I don't know if it's so sad or not) that I listened to all this with such apathy.

Is this normal when you go into Plan B?

I hope this apathy is normal..it seems very logical...you know..sort of comparable to lack of contact with OW to allow those passions to settle a bit? You have stepped outside of the drama..drawn those boundaries and [woo hoo] didn't accept less just because he tossed some scraps your way.

It seems you have begun to move on emotionally. Not that you don't love him still..but that you are not prostrate to his demands. I'd take it as a good sign, K. Give yourself a chance to heal a bit while he deals with himself, by himself for the time being. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Yes it's normal for the ws to call a bunch and try to get something/anythiung out of bs.
It's also normal for the bs to feel like crap for a while.

WOO HOO Noodle!

I have become so sick of the drama. I like things on a more even keel.

WH told me in an earlier message that he wouldn't go through the person I asked him to contact if he needed to get a message.

He just said he would leave me a voice mail when he's sure I'm not at home.

I still feel like this is some sort of contact. The only thing good about it that I can think of is that I can yell, be sarcastic, and say whatever I want to him while listening to his message. With NO LB's!

I just keep hoping that absence does make the heart grow fonder, and not the other way around - out of sight, out of mind...

Even so, I can see where Plan B does help you move on with your life.

For so long (32 years now) WH has "manipulated" me with his anger and his temper to do what he wants. I feel I've lost my "voice", my opinion, and myself. This is the time to re-discover who I am, what I want, and what I like to do. I don't even know what those things are anymore!

Perhaps this is one of the reasons WH sought someone else.... because I just wasn't "there" any more.

In our first MC session, I remember saying that I felt like nothing... less than nothing. Hey! I'm something, and I'm somebody!

I'm waking up! I really am strong!

Thanks, K

It is still contact. He is still trying to manipulate you, even if the only control he has left is whether or not to comply with your no contact request. Yelling at the phone is just more contact/drama still. If nothing else, his position on this demonstrates that he is still not ready. He is still trying to step across those boundaries.

I'd change my number.

Since you're waking up..maybe we could do coffee some time. I like a nice meduim roast, how 'bout you <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />