I really need advice because I am lost on what to do. Quick story:On February 03 my wife left the country to study abroad for a year. Four months (May) after she left she got involved with a man with whom she had a EA for 5 weeks and a PA for a week until the man dumped her. I found out about her affair during week 5. In fact, me confronting her was her excuse to move to PA. When I confronted her she denied everything, she said they were only friends, blah, blah, blah. She assured me nothing happened. I tried to believe her and stopped digging into it. Well she came back to the states in Dec. after her year away and everything was working "fine" because I wanted to get the truth of what happened. She finally confessed everything in March. She confessed me she did have a 5 weeks EA and then after I confronted her, she used it to move to a PA. But not only that, she confessed she had another PA with another man in October too. Obviuosly I was devastated by the news. We bought the books SAA and Torn as under, we also started going to marriage counceling. During all this process I was so busy but gave time to work on it. Unfortunately, we did not finish reading the books and we stopped counseling in June because we had to leave again to go to work overseas for two months. While we were overseas working together, we talked and continue working on our marriage. She was open to talk about it and she says she is supper commited to our marriage. Now we are back in the states and because of school and work issues, we are facing another year of separation again. I am scared on what to do. I mean we considered me switching schools so we could be together, we considered she stopping school and then leave together when I graduate, we also considered the possibility of being appart this whole year. The third option is the one we chose. Since I feel we did not finish working on the affair and the why's, I feel super insecure about doing this. I don't know if it is just better to let her go (mean splitting) or risk staying with her and face another affair. She says she wont and she says she regrets everything she did. But I do not know if I can trust her. Careerwise the third option is the smartest one but how will I deal with the monsters of my fears about she having another affair? What if she indeed has another affair since we did not work enough on the previous one? I don't know what to do or what to think, please advice.

do what is best for you and your life and your career..if its ment to be then it will be.

Your marriage is so fragile right now that I would suggest you remain together. I don't think your marriage can survive another seperation.

Thank you for your replies. That is exactly the way I feel. In one hand I want to do the best for myself and my career but in the other I feel that my marriage is so fragile at this point. Even though, I agree that if it is meant to be, it will be and I am willing to work for it. I dont want to go through more pain; it will kill me this time. My wife and I talked on the phone yesterday and she is coming back home today. We will address the issue of how we feel now that we are apart. I just hope it wont become the same nightmare that it was last year.

Would your wife consider posting here?

Believer, I have talked to my wife about the site and the forum. Last time I mentioned her about it, 3 months ago, she was skeptical. I guess she dedn't see any direct benefit from posting here. However, on those times she was defensive about all the affair issue. She tried to justify her actions so she wouldn't feel guilty about it. I assume she was in denial then. Now her attitude has been transformed, everytime we talk about the affairs she is open and honest about it. It might be a good time to ask her about posting here again. Maybe this time she will be willing to do it.

Update
Even though my wife came back home to address the issue about how we are feeling, we haven't addressed it at all. However, we have had an amazing weekend since Sat. night. We had bbq, we went for a free concert, we had been cooking together excellent meals, etc. I am happy things are going well. Wish me good luck so the things can go the same when we readdress the how we feel and what we are going to do now that we are separated again.