Hello my name is Linda...
I have a strange tale here that for now I wont go into. What I want to know is about these courses and when they are best to be done. Let me explain about our current issue.

I live in Michigan and My spouse in another State two thousand miles away. We have recently reconciled after a 9 year seperation. We have 4 grown children. Son 23 in the Navy, Son 22 home With me from the Navy and now going to college, Daughter 19 in the Army and fixing to get married and another son 18 still in high school and at home with me.

My oldest has bought a house here in Mi which i am taking care of, He is stationed over in HI currently and wont be back till 2006 unless he reups for a longer stint. Currently i am on medical leave from my job due to three herniated disk in my neck and I will have to have surgry., Me and my spouse are still working on us. however due to his circumstance he is in the NTL Guard and has been activated to go to Calif for the next 18 months on Tuesday this next week. So we at this time cannot be in the same place due to other commitments. Financially we have alot of our own debts which we have and daily living things in each state. My spouse has to keep his apartment and I cannot leave my place here as of yet. If I went to where he lives he would be about 3 hours away from me still..

So I guess my question would be.. would any one suggest we do these courses or read the books while we are under this circumstance.. This makes it safe and I am sure it also makes it harder to meet the course reqirements.
Right now he may not even be able to make it to his Daughters wedding in Sept due to training schedule or even be able ot be here for the surgery i will have to undergo. I cannot put off surgery at this time either till he can be here because i have no money comming in with me out of work..My son is getting unemployment but its been an issue and he is looking for a job. My injury is not work related and the injury wont last a year so money is an issue so much here. So we will have to take time and spend it with each other when we can. It's easier in the long run for him to take time off and visit here than me go there because once back to work I wont have any time off for a while. Once able I will move to where he is at. But still that is a while off..We do talk pretty much thru out the week either online or thru the phone. We been together once since we have decided to reconcile that was in July. He was planning on being here in Sept however due to a change in when his unit deployed to Ft Irwin moved everything futher out including the training schedule.

So any advice for those who have done the corses would be extremly helpful..

Thank you
Linda

Welcome to MarriageBuilders. Yikes - you are in quite a fix. But we will help you figure this out.

Would your husband consider reading or posting here?

You will find tons of information on this site, and can have a better marriage than ever, mainly by changing the way you two relate. Being separated isn't ideal, but you can still do this.

Also the books are great, so get a couple.

I have sent this web site to him. I hope to talk to him later on and see if he will afree to this all. He is all for resoring our marrige but we both realize that we are stuck in places esp with not being with the other. This alone is a major postive change howver some old behaviors exisit that I know need to change and how we relate to each other.

Linda

Sorry tried to edit it seems i boobooed.. not sure how to delete either.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Linda

<small>[ August 21, 2004, 06:13 AM: Message edited by: Linda1962 ]</small>

Well, it will not be easy, but it is very possible to have a better marriage than ever.

The best thing about this site is that you will change. So whether or not you end up with your husband, it will really help you.

It is also a great place to get support. We have a lot of military people here, writing from Iraq, and Afghanistan.

Also there are folks from England, New Zealand, Australia, Italy, Canada, Japan, Russia, and Indonesia. So you will get lots of advice from people going through the same thing.

I did not realize this was under the infidelity board..i saw general questions and just posted.... this needed to be in a general area.. not under any specific topic......


I reposted this under other topics... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />
Linda
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<small>[ August 21, 2004, 08:43 AM: Message edited by: Linda1962 ]</small>