I've been reading most of the posts over the last day or so. Catching myself up and seeing if there are some new points of light to use. Now I find myself confused, a bit worried and unsure of what's next.

My D-Day was July 18. Now a month later, it appears WW will be moving out in one week. Everything has been arranged and I've allowed HER to make HER decisions (good or bad). I've been deep into Plan A since the end of July and have seen the results. My concern is that most of the folks who have been through this say Plan A for 4-6 months. I have a difficult time with discussing things in months. I know this process is long and may take years but the results I've seen and the changes that have occurred since Plan Aing and exposing the A to OM's mother makes me wonder if I'm doing this too fast. The lawyer episode from my last post continues this morning. WW still bent (although my consistent actions recieved a slight hug before WW left for work) and I'm still Plan Aing.

Everything I've learned/experienced so far suggests timelines. I set myself a timeline that if WW does move out, I would Plan A for a week and after she returns from the marathon on the East coast, I was going to Plan B. WW believes her moving out will result in "finding herself" and "I'll probably be home more than I'm gone". WW still sees OM. Hell, Thursday she went to dinner with him while I stayed with DD. Caught me by surprise and wasn't able to "quickly have alternate plan". I didn't sit around; DD and I had a great time.

Rambling again. Seems to happen when concern/confusion jumps into my head/heart. I'm wondering if my timeline is going too fast for true reconciliation? I'm very hopeful and believe this A won't last long. Any ideas of how long I should Plan A? I know the concepts of Plan A and the results are vivid but I don't want to rush through all of this considering the timelines I'm reading here.

Another point of data for any responders...A couple weeks ago when WW was talking about moving out, she mentioned moving the middle of September. I answered (non LB manner) something to the affect of "that's too long, I can't keep going through this". "This" being the waiting for her to get the A over with. Now last night during the lawyer results conversation and my reaffirmation that I didn't want her to leave, she responded "I wasn't going to leave until September but you couldn't wait that long". Did I bait her into leaving? Any downside to leaving earlier than WW's plan or should I chuck it up to babble.

Thanks for listening and God Bless.....LS

sailor -

Your timetable is moving fast. But I think that the guidelines are just guidelines. If your wife moves out, everything will end more quickly. I don't blame you at all for not wanting to pay for a possible love nest.

I live in Southern California, and have been to the lawyer several times. One good thing here is that you can get a seperation agreement drawn up and signed, and it is very reasonable. My WH wrote one up and the lawyer would do it for $250. However, once it was ready, WH refused to sign it.

But if your wife is agreeable, you might get one, just to protect your family assets.

Another idea is to use the money you were going to give your wife and get counseling from the Harleys or Penny at saveyourmarriagecentral. They are experts and can help you make the correct choices. It is expensive for phone counseling, but not as expensive as a divorce.

Thanks Believer. You are always a source of hope, inspiration and knowledge.....LS

Welcome sailor. You are doing very well, and we both know your wife can't possible last with this guy. The main thing is to take care of you, and to protect your love for her.

This site recommends a fairly long Plan A. The other site says it should be shorter. I put up with my WH's disrespectful behavior for too long. Now I don't care anything about him.

Weekends are slow, so hang in there. Keep posting, and some of the experts will chime in. Also you might check out the other board for advice.