Ok, I am a long way off from this since we have agreed to not divorce until June of 2005 (if we can't work things out). Sure, he could file before that but I do not believe that he will. But either way, it would be wise to have one's ducks in a row. Who knows, maybe I won't *want* to contest it when the time comes..but maybe I will.

I was reading up on Florida Law. Now a no-fault divorce can't REALLY be contested. If at ANY time the court finds that the marriage is "irretrievably broken" then they can allow the dissolution of the marriage. BUT if one spouse denies that the marriage is "irretrievably broken" and courts agree, then they can order counselling.

Okay..so my question...how would I show the court that the marriage is not necessarily "irretrievably broken"?

Honestly, if my husband files I believe I will *probably* give him the divorce, but I want to keep my options open for now.

I'll be checking with legal-types about this but wanted anyone's thoughts in the meantime. Thanks.

Maddy, I didn't know this. I thought the only thing you could contest in a no-fault state was the division of property, support/alimony, and custody.

I will have to look into that as well.

spinning the drain, it is not a sure thing, just so you know. And this is florida..dunno how it is in other places. If you're in florida and want a link, I'll go through my history files, but this is directly from the florida state statutes.

If the court agrees that the marriage is irretrievably broken, then they'll allow the divorce. I think they can order counselling for up to three months (not a long time). BUT at ANY time during that three months, they can dissolve the marriage. So again, this is not a sure thing.

another thing to consider is money. pretty cheap to obtain a divorce where there's no property to divide and no common children (my situation). If I were to contest, it would mean a lot more money.

That's why I'm asking this question here..cuz it's NOT a sure thing...the court might not agree..so I'm wondering what might help one's case should they decide to deny that the marriage is irretrievably broken.

Let me know if you need any links <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I am in Fl too. My C said the court can order MC. He said he has done some court ordered MC but it is really hard when you have someone there that doesn't want to be there but I have heard of this.

Georgia is a no fault state too but you can still file on ground of adultery if you do so within one year of discovery.

Don't think it makes a big difference other than giving you some leverage if the WS doesn't want their affair to become public record. Property and custody issues aren't impacted from what I can tell.

when it comes to florida, adultery has no role in the divorce except when it comes to assets and alimony. which means if you can prove that the WS spent money on the OP.

maddy, i have all these same questions and have basically found out the same info from florida. i ever read that the florida court system is so behind that it could take up to a year before things go to court. anyway, i talked to SH about this stuff.even though the statute in florida says "if there are children or if one spouse denies that the M is irretreviably broken, the court may delay the proceedings for up to 3 months and may order the spouses to seek counseling, order the spouses to attempt reconciliation or order the spouses to attend mediation sessions." I still feel like this was written more w/the consideration of children.

why would a state have a no-fault D if the could order the spouses to attempt reconcilition? SH says that the courts aren't really going to care about the BS, that they are just going to see this as 2 adults that need to settle the matter. i had told SH that I would probably try to come from the angle that if my H would just "try" and work on things together then we could rebuild our M. SH said that most if not all judges no that if two people work on things together then things could be better but.......they just don't rule that way. i also said what about coming from the angle that i've had a very traumatic event in my life (which i have, not like i would be lying) and that i need more time to deal w/this. SH said the courts would say that's what counseling is for and if needed, divorce counseling.

so bottom line, i don't have an answer for you right now. but i am talking to a lawyer tomorrow and will be going over all this stuff and i will post that on the forums. when i posted previously about florida and divorce laws i didn't get much help, even from the divorced/divorcing forums. someone from here did give me their email address and they did give me some additional information but as you said all this is going to cost money. that's one of the things i'm going to be talking about w/my lawyer is just how much that i might expect to spend if i fight to slow down the D as much as possible. my lawyer charges $200/hr so i don't think i will really be able to fight it as l ong as i want.

but anyway, i'll keep you posted, continued prayers to you, RR