Hi Tummytuck! -
Yes, I've been off site a bit. I think mostly for me to regroup and get a different prospective. Also attempting to stay busy/active and not dwell on A.
Although, sure does seem like I wake up with WH on my mind and go to bed with him on my mind - so not sure how good I'm doing.
WH still living with OW. We talk daily, sometimes more and I see him on weekends and some weekdays after work.
I've been through some major roller coaster ride so far.
I've been to OW house - asked about her intentions, and asked him too. Major hurt that day as he told me he wanted a future with her.
Pain too much to even think about.
But here we are now, neither one of us wanting a divorce.
Communication is better. And he is sharing more about OW now. I know that she is not happy. I know they argue. I know that she is attempting to control him some.
I know that he said that wonderful loving euphoric feeling he said he had with her, was only initially.
He has told me he loves me - not something he would tell me since D-day.
So for now I can only hope that he is coming out of the fog and we have a future.
I'm hanging in there the best I can.

So? how bout you? Give an update.

Thanks so much for your update. You still sound like you know what you want - him. I just don't know now. I went home to England, told my mum and my aunt (my aunt went thru a similar thing when she was 40 - still with husband). They were both supportive but insisted that nobody can tell me what to do here. I got back 'home' a few days ago and we've hardly talked. Admittedly I have major jetlag but all I can think about it leaving, not trying to save our marriage. I just don't know what I would be holding onto.

My WH has said some really ****ty things. He lied, cheated, ignored his family etc etc. The usual affair things. Two things seem to make my situation a 'bit' unique. One is that I live in Asia. If I leave, it means uprooting my children from their home. They will leave their dad, their house, their school, friends etc etc. Somehow, I think I will be seen as the bad guy. The one who took them away. The other thing is that my WH has major health problems. I was prepared to face these with him. Now I just worry that I'll end up being a bitter old nurse maid. I think I need to go - at least separate. I just haven't plucked up the courage to do it yet but it will come. I can't believe the mess he's made here and I can't see any of this has made him happy. I seem to be getting worse and more obsessed about all of this as time goes by. Is that usual??