What is an exit affair???? Thankyou

WH 52
BS 48
DD 24
DS 22
D-day 10th November 2003
H had several A's over 10yrs
Working at staying together forever

Hi EO,

Usually if the WS waits until the kids are out of the house, it's called an "exit affair"...

They "stay for the kids", then once they're off to college or out on their own, they split with the OP...

Semper Fi,
RIF90

I'm no expert, but I think my WS might have started her A as an exit from our relatinship.

I think when a spouse becomes unhappy in the relationship they look for a way out if they feel that it can't be worked out. They are confused and vulnerable, afraid to leave and be alone. So they set themselves up in another relationship and this A becomes their way out of the present relationship. They are weak, I guess, that's why they make sure they have someone to run to before leaving. I hope some of this makes sense. I'm sure someone with more knowledge on this matter will post.

My feeling is this. An exit A can occur when the unhappy spouse wants to leave the marriage but feels he/she needs a catalyst. That simply stating they're unhappy and want to leave is not a good enough reason. I would say that usually they are not especially discreet and are hoping the BS will find out and will kick them out, thereby saving them the difficult thought of themselves being the one who wanted out. I would say that even though they may have left for the OP, the probably will not stay with that person and indeed, may never have had the desire to make a permanent life with the OP. Simply, they used them.

I do not believe that most people seek out affairs. I feel that usually, it's just something that "happens" (simplified, I know) and the offending parties didn't initially intend for it to happen. The difference in an exit A is that the WS did seek out the affair.

these are just my thoughts. Now I wonder if you're asking...if it was an exit affair, is there still hope? Hard question. I think there is always hope, but I think an exit A might be more difficult to overcome than other affairs (excepting maybe sexual addiction).