Not to threadjack here, but I'm doing great Pep! Thanks for asking - overall, life is good...aside from being Mom to a kid who is acting both 2 and 3 at this point it time! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Regards,

BB

My proof will just smash their denial finally.

Not really.
They (your ww and om) will just continue to deny it.
His gf will believe him or not, regardless of "proof".
I'm saying don't try to convince anyone. simply expose it.

Duplicate post.

<small>[ August 23, 2004, 12:19 PM: Message edited by: Brit's Brat ]</small>

I agree.

I think the OM is just ridiculously disrespectful in contacting another man's W during his grieving process ! Where are HIS morals? His son has just been tragically killed...and this is how he behaves ???????


Please.

Belonging to nowhere, no more cruel that what OM and WW are doing to Bob's M and family - they're killing it. Also, particularly insightful on this issue are the comments from those who have lost children.....they too are supporting the contact with OM's GF....if in fact this is all true anyway - still have BIG doubts that OM and/or WW are making this all up.


Also, not to threadjack here, but I'm doing great Pep! Thanks for asking - overall, life is good...aside from being Mom to a kid who is acting both 2 and 3 at this point it time! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />


Regards,

BB

Bob - don't know whether to be amused or disgusted right now, but so far, I'm coming up with no one by the last name you were able to provide passing away AT ALL this month. Of course, if it happened this weekend, it might not have been posted yet...but I dunno about the UK...here in TX we usually have a few services @ the funeral home/church/cemetary so all that want to say farewell can, so they post it in the paper for quite a few days up till the actual funeral.

I'm still checking, there are quite a few newspapers to check with, but unless the family didn't wish for people to show up at the services, it should be posted, right? I'm unsure of the customs over there...

- Kimmy

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Brit's Brat:
Belonging to nowhere, no more cruel that what OM and WW are doing to Bob's M and family[/QB]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">BUT A is not OM's GF fault!!! She did Nothing to hurt His Family!

(Btw, if she doesn't believe after 'Monday talk' with Bob, she won't believe after seeing these letter either!)

You want to hurt OM?, punish OM&WW?, - do it to them!

And, really, let's say OM's GF stops A... would that "winning WS back" be so satisfying??
Especially done at any cost?


Sorry, I don't think I'll continue to post on this thread...
... would never justify NOT choosing means to reach the goal... (isn't this tipycal for WSs? - littledevilsmiliehere)

BelongingTN,

"HER SON"??

It's the OM's son that "supposedly" has died.

Who is "So Cruel"?? Bob? "SO CRUEL"???? Bob is a gentleman with no cruel bone in his body that we have seen.

And yes, I guess some of us are cruel because we have no sympathy for the OM, while he continues to contact Bob's W and manipulate,.. all the while being so deep in his grief and dispair!!

Sorry to disappoint.
k

Nowhere I am wrestling with this exposure now also.

Other folks yes i too think OM is despicable prioritising the A when his child has been killed.

The only reason I will expose is because OM and WW do not want me to so very much.

Also the OM GF needs to know the facts. Something I did not post before is that when I called her to expose the A she told me that her father had affairs for many years and she always swore that she would never tolerate infidelity like her Mother did, as it destroyed her self-worth over the years.

The girl deserves to have all the information to make the right decisions with her life. She knows what happened, the proof is NOT deniable (in HIS handwriting).

Only the timing is subject to review.

I fear what may happen with this exposure as my WW will hate me more than ever and OM is likely to be kicked out of their home, but I can't sit on this information. I just want the lies to stop and I can hardly say that if I support the withodling of information can I ?

* sigh * horrible times....

Bob,
I admire your compassion for those who are hurting. I must however remind those who think exposure is cruel that Bob is hurting also!

Simpleminded, I see that you are new here. Many of us have seen how exposure puts an end to the fantasy of an affair and is a necessary step for those who are trying to save their marriages. As you said, it MIGHT cause the OM and Bob's WW to end up together, but in most cases this does not happen. Statistics are on the side of total exposure. The OM in this case is desperately trying to avoid exposure and stay with his GF and the mother of his 10 year old child. Does not sound like someone ready to ditch everything and begin a new life with the affair partner to me... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

In any event, HONESTY is the impostant issue here and exposure is an honest attempt to save Bob's marriage as well as keep the OM at home with his family. (even though he does not seem to have any sense of family commitment...)

Belonging, You might have misunderstood. The OM's son was killed. Bob wants to expose the continued contact with the OM's live in GF. She is NOT the mother of the son who was killed. I agree that when the death is verified, Bob should wait until after the funersl, that should only be a day or so.

The OM's GF is being deceived by the OM and Bob's WW (who called her to deny a sexual affair) and deserves to know what is going on. Again, HONESTY is the issue. No one ever said that honesty was fair or painless. It is the humane thing to do here and not allow the couple to carry on this contact, affair and deception.

The only reason I will expose is because OM and WW do not want me to so very much.

The only reason you should be expossing is to end the affair.

Chris I am not certain that this additional exposure WILL end the affair. All i know is that my previous unevidences exposure had a great effect, and that OM & WW lied to deny the A.

This evidence will mean that OM GF will need to delude herself that a PA did not take place.

I think that OM & WW think this evidence will destroy their A and that is why they are so against my exposing it.

I have little certainty in much I am doing right now other than being calm, not lovebusting and loving my kids as hard as I can.

It 'feels' like the right and brave thing to do to expose. I have no other tool at my disposal to help break up the affair other than exposing to OMs governing body and the charities commission. This is a last resort as it would cause my WW public embarassment.

This stuff is hard ! I must pray about it, rather than think about it.

I just don't see how the truth can hurt me more than all the lies have so far.

Bob, I don't post much anymore but have been following your story of late. Please, before you do anything else, verify that this actually happened, when and if it actually did. I say this because this brought back to mind something that happened with a coworker several years back.

He convinced all the office that he was critically ill. Had medical "proof" as to his condition etc. It went on for a couple of months until he said something that just didn't seem right. I asked his wife to join me for coffee one day to try and find out what was going on. I expressed my sympathy that they were going through such a difficult time and inquired as to how she was doing and what the prognosis was. She looked at me like I was an alien...her shock was apparent. She informed me that there was nothing wrong with her H at all. Something minor and not at all what he had presented. She also said that he lied all the time as did his whole family! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Last I heard, they were divorced...

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Bob Pure:

I just don't see how the truth can hurt me more than all the lies have so far. [/QB]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It won't Bob, I'll be praying for you, Ladysing

I agree to try to get more info, Bob. I found nothing on the web in all the gazillion news sites I looked on for the UK. I'm still of the opinion that you need to have a heart to heart with the GF. Maybe ring her and offer up your condolences. I'm sure you'll be able to verify by her response if it's true or not...then you can go from there. 'Sides, if it's really true, you might not need to tell her right then that you found out from WW. I mean, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out how YOU know!

- Kimmy

Bob,

Find out about the son. If he really did die, wait awhile before you turn over the proof. I really don't see how another week will really matter.

If his son did die, and you send this stuff along while he is burying a child . . . it just looks vidictive. Again, why would waiting a week or so matter?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Ladysing58:
<strong>Belonging... She is NOT the mother of the son who was killed...</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That makes difference... Thanks, NOW feel better...
a bit...


Bob, you or anyone else if talking about this issue, nothing personal please...

If OM's GF is not mom to that poor kid, I change my previously word cruel to... if you are pleased with your methods of winning her back and you feel&have to do so - good luck and a happy M after all... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />


... for MBers... I don't agree that exposure most? of time is not (at least kind of) revenge... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<small>[ August 23, 2004, 01:41 PM: Message edited by: Belonging to Nowhere ]</small>

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> sigh

I'm not telling you it WILL end the affair.
But that is the reason to expose it.

You don't expose it because they don't want you to (or any other reason).

You don't buy a Lotto ticket because you WILL win. You buy a ticket because you cannot win without buying one.

BTN I bet you have never had to expose an A. Its about the hardest thing I ever did. Deliberately visiting the trauma I suffered as a result of this affair upon an innocent girl? You think I could revenge pleasure in that ?

Truth is the only weapon we BS have in this war against those who would steal what God gave us.

I cannot fight affair lies with more lies.

I may lose my wife to this reptile because of this proofed exposure, I hardly think I will get much revenge in that either.

All i know is that lies are poising my world because of this A and I want to be able to tell my kids that win or lose my WW back I told the truth and played fair.

I may only be left with my kids and my self respect at the end of this journey, But y'know : Thats not so bad.

I don't believe in that method... (unless I wanted to hurt OP's FAMILY as mine was hurt!, and don't think I'd do that either... I could hurt just person who hurt me, directly!, not their family's members..)


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Bob Pure:
<strong>Deliberately visiting the trauma I suffered as a result of this affair upon an innocent girl? You think I could revenge pleasure in that ?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">No, never thought so...
You told her already, if she wants to see, she already knows and is already hurt...

She's "just" collateral damage, poor thing...
And who really cares about that nowadays? :-(