Tomorrow is the day--I am going to Plan B. It has been almost six months and WH is fence sitting. He is still in contact and in fact, he left this morning to spend the day with OW.

I feel that I have done a good Plan A and the advice I have gotten from the MB board has kept me positive and sane for so long--believe in God, build a support group of family and friends, work on yourself, exercise, and take anti-di's.

WH leaves for overseas trip next week and I will talk with him tomorrow about my need to separate. It is a week before he leaves and I hope he can move out in a few days, but he may need to complete the move when he returns. I feel guilty about the short notice, but I can't last without LBing him until he gets back next month. Plus, he is going to the country the OW is from and I don't know if she will be joining him. Being exposed to that thought drains my love bank even more so I am cutting my losses by telling him now. I feel badly that I will tell him when he returns he will not be coming home. For all I know he may stay overseas as he as threatened to do in the last few months.

I will tell him tommorrow and then have a coaching session with SH the day after. I will give WH Plan B letter before he leaves for his trip.

Thanks to all for your wisdom in getting me this far. Once again I turn to you all and ask if you have any last words of advice or encouragement?

Thanks and God bless.

Going to Plan B--any last words of advice or encouragement?
Yes, I have a few words.
1 - Don't do it before the trip. Wait until he returns home. You previoulsy posted this is whatyou would do.
2 - Post the Plan B letter here B E F O R E you give it to him.
3 - Call Marriage Builders and get some "proper" coaching prior to doing Plan B.

Hey Chris,

How is it going...in your part of CA? It's overcast in my part of the state...what happen to sunny CA?

Thanks for your response. Obviously I am still torn on this issue. Actually I have been in coaching with Marriage Builders. SH had advised me to go to Plan B two weeks ago and to have the Plan B conversation and give the letter later. I think I was getting more and more bold about confronting WH about contact and SH was concerned that I would just become darn right unattractive with my LBing and all because WH was also getting bold about his obvious C in front of me. So I cooled my jets on LB's, but I just need a light at the end of the tunnel.

I think I'll just keep working on my letter and wait until Wednesday am when I can get some additional pointers on going to Plan B. Thanks again for your post. I do appreciate it; it helps keep me sane and calm. Thanks, Chris.

With Plan B right around the corner, I would welcome some advice. I intend to go pitch dark and I have a plan to keep myself busy (got a calendar and filled in the blanks of things I want to do). I will offer no financial support to WH. I still have a small reserve of love left for possible recovery. I will try to get through withdrawals and am thinking of my boundaries.

What else should I be doing? Any suggestions?

SureSurvivor -

I don't have any advice or tips, just encouragement, and letting you know I will be here with you each step of your journey. You have a lot of support from these boards, you have taken care of you, you have done so much to give your M the best possible chance at recovery. I hope your WH realizes someday how hard you worked to do that.

I would follow Chris' advice, and that of SH. I support you, I support you, I support you.

SS

Thanks, SS for your response and support. I will try to use my time wisely until I go to Plan B. I guess I will have my peace soon enough. I am reading the book you suggested Back from Betrayal and you are right there are many parallels to my situation. I learned from the book and the board that this can happen to anyone from all walks of life. I am picking up a few good suggestions and will continue to work on me. Thanks again for the post and book suggestion.

Another SS

Keep your chin up
Stay busy
Explore your spiritual growth
Treat yourself like a queen
When in Plan B ... don't violate your own boundaries.

God bless**

Pep

Thanks, Pep, for your advise. I always get so much out of it. I have been practicing my reverse babble in prep for my Plan B talk and beyond. Reverse babble has helped me in the past few weeks, and it will help me again as I move forward. Thanks and God bless you.