I probably have made the mistake that many others have done before me. I would say that we are in recovery but I have never stopped Plan Aing and now I seem to be stuck. He says that things are going well. My 1 year D-Day has just passed. I still occassionally LB because the OW is still in our work environment and some days I am filled with such rage her name will come up as I can't hold back anymore. But what I say is tame compared to what I would like to say. He has all of his EN met as far as humanly possible and will admit to that. The problem is that none of mine are. Whenever I feel the injustice of it overcoming me, I try to tell him what I need mostly outward shows of affection) but he says that he is not comfortable with such displays. I asked if he wanted to see the evidence of cards, notes etc. from before this year but he says that as we have been together 17 years, that those sorts of displays naturally declines. When he was in the midst of fog, he said opposite and said he didn't realize it could be exciting again and thought that the way our relationship had been going was a natural progression while I had always said we had to work at keeping the sparks alive. I believe that I have created a monster and that he has become very selfish this past year. Why he gets breakfast in bed every weekend, our leisure pursuits are what he enjoys doing (because in trying to meet his EN, he really believes I enjoy all the things he enjoys), etc. etc. All that I want is a little reciprocation now and again. How much effort would it be to bring me home a flower once in a while or leave me a little note. I do this constantly hoping he will get the message but to no avail. If I stop doing so much for him now does he immediately get the message "it's been a year and now it's back to the way it was before". I just don't know quite how to extricate myself from being a slave now that I have set the tone but I need to do something as I can feel myself becoming very resentful of the way this relationship seems to be all one way. I really think that he believes he has done his part when he decided to stay and that he was the only one with any grievances and at D-day I was too scared that he would leave to say I had anything I wasn't happy with and now it seems to be too late. I still have not got to the point where I could go out by myself for an evening and not stress. I have totally given up "me" and intellectually I know he would respect me more and maybe feel a little of what I have been through if I could pursue my own interests and not be so much at his beck and call. What I need to know is how
