I sent H a letter a few weeks ago and told him how I felt. Did I blow it? Here's some of what I said;
-That I've heard things from his brother and mother & wonder why I haven't heard it from him.
-I wonder why he changed his mind about being in contact with me.
-Why he believes everything everyone else has to say about me when not once in 13 yrs. did I ever betray his trust.
-All the horrible things he's said about me that aren't true and why he would tell others things that were none of their business.
-That it took only a matter of 3 days to completely destroy what took us years to build.
-That it wasn't enough to tell me he fell in love with someone else because I doubt he was thinking that far ahead when he was down at the bar hustling drinks.
-How he never treated me unkind until the day he met OW.
-If he had put me first just once things would be so very differest.
-That I felt I paid a high price for not being perfect in his eyes and lost by default because I couldn't get pregnant just like that.
-His time with OW has been the worst time I've ever experienced in my life.
-That just because things were going good for him now didn't mean that what he did was OK.
-And good thing OW came along to rescue him because he was obviously so miserable with me all these years
-To remember we were friends before we were anything else.

I basically haven't heard from him since. His brother and sister-in-law and his sister all wrote him a letter and told him off. OW is completely manipulating the situation and is able to because of OC.

Did I blow it with this letter? Do I stay in Plan B for now and let things unfold with OW? Do you think he feels guilty or just in the fog?

I'm so confused!

I don't think it's very often that a BS can totally blow it with one misstep.

Next time you have to vent, do it here, or write the letter and pitch it, or go work out. Direct your anger somewhere else. It doesn't have to get fired at the WS to be released.

And I don't think words from the BS, written or spoken, explaining the situation do much good with a WS in an active A. It's all just, "Wah, wah wah waah waaaah. You suck!" to them.

GC

Hi Cyn,

Plan B means no contact. I do not think you are ready for Plan B. Your husband seems to be forcing no contact on you. I think he really needs to wake up out of his fog and see OW for who she really is. I think your husband is ate up with guilt and probably does not feel worthy of you.
For the most part your letter states how what he has done makes you feel except a couple things.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> That just because things were going good for him now didn't mean that what he did was OK.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">He could perceive this statement as judgeing him.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> And good thing OW came along to rescue him because he was obviously so miserable with me all these years
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This statement could be perceived by him as a judgement of his feelings. Perhaps he was happy with you for the most part. Nobody is perfect and you can only try and meet the need he expressed as lacking in you in a more full and better way. What if you write another letter but before you write it you need to post letter and get advise. I just do not feel you are ready for Plan B but your husband seems to be forceing your hand. What your husband has done is almost like he is Plan Bing you. I hope somebody else answers as to how to handle this situation.