i am very new to this so please be patient. i learned about 4 months ago that for the past 8 years of our 12 year marriage, my husband has been seeing someone else. we have four beautiful children (2 of which were after the affair began). i never suspected anything and found out accidently by reviewing his text mails over the internet. we have been working on putting our marriage (what is left of it) back together. it was never love just sex kind of thing (don't really beleive that - 8 yrs!) but i see a great change in him. i am just having a really hard time dealing with resentment. any help out there?

brg

Welcome, but sorry to see you here at the same time. It can only mean one thing, we share something extremely painful.

Resentment....hmmm if all you are dealing with is resentment after H 8 yr A and you're only 4 mos. into recovery (assuming that is where you are) you're doing pretty good.

I am just begining to consider that I may need outside help and you are further along time-wise than I, with only a 3-day A history. For me, it has been the years of lying that I am having difficulty dealing with. And it's definately more than resentment, I feel like I'm going out of my mind at times.

A little more information. Has H initiated NC? Have you viewed any of the material on this site? Are you in MC? Depending on where you are would determine what next step in healing process should be.

Keep posting, asking questions, reading reading reading. It took me almost a month before I dared to post. I find that talking with others who share the same hurts helps the most. So I've begun to post alot more. Hope it helps you.