I am not sure which plan I am in...just got Dr. Harley's Surviving the Affair Book in the mail yesterday and will start to get educated about all this now! I am so confused!

I haven't initiate contact for 2 weeks now; yesterday, he send me a nice, motivating e-mail. My question now is should I make an attempt to reach out to my unfaithful H now or is that up to him? I can respond to him but not really talk anything "deep" until he initiates it, right? I am just so desperate to know what is going on in his head. If he is just coming out of the "fog", I don't want to push him back into it.

Actions do speak louder than words...he admitted to have taken a couple girls out on dates over the past few weeks and I heard that there were overnight "female" stuff laying around his apartment just a week ago. This sickens me but I guess I don't know the whole story...I would have to ask him about it and I don't think I want to know (I already have the sick feeling that he has been intimate with at least one of them). The fact of the matter though is that he is starting to confront people who know the entire mess he is in and is seemingly becoming more mature with his conversation to me (rather than lashing out in an angry fashion)!

Do you think I should continue to sit back and let him be until he is completely out of the "fog" and in the "clear" to talk about our marriage together?

Thanks ( :

My Story:
Me: 28 yo faithful wife
Him: 30 yo unfaithful H
Married: 06/01
Affair: fall '03-Jan '04; he ended it
Told me of affair 05/04 and immediately left, acting very irrational, mean since we separated despite my very "nice" attempts to try to communicate with him.
Admits to dating a new woman a week ago...sinking suspicion that he is sleeping with her...gross. I feel like an old toy thrown under his bed while he shopped and found a new toy to play with. Perhaps he is feeling guilty about ditching his old toy? Or perhaps he really doesn't truly like this new toy and dreams of returning to the good times he had with the old toy and doesn't know how to dig the old toy up? Corny analogy but this is truly how I am feeling.