I'm writing this post differently than most. I lurked for a couple of weeks, logged on, received enormous support and advice, bought HNHN/SAA (read and digested them), implemented Plan A (found great results), exposed A to OM's mother (again, found great results) and now that OM has "broken ties" with WW, I'm in day 3 of the withdrawal. I think I need some help to understand what I'm seeing.

I've been reading alot of posts from other threads and the information/experience from the FWW's perspective helps ease my pain/concern.

I've posted my last dilemma under "EXPOSURE WORKS....WW SAYS IT OVER" and yesterday I almost made a grave mistake. I almost gave WW enough money to move out (1st apartment was cancelled on Friday). I became confused and wanted WW to end the A vice OM to ensure that WW was certain she wanted to return. I've since seen the error in my thinking thanks to numerous 2X4's from the "experienced ones".

Right now my wife has expressed hate towards me. Something I never thought would occur. WW is certainly fogged out as I posted last night with the fog babble/indecision/immediate shifts in thinking. I haven't once LB'd (well, verbally anyway - I guess the exposure was a pretty big LB). I'm trying to be supportive, I'm available anytime she wants to talk and I make sure my head vice my heart responds. Very painful I will add.

The mixed feelings I have are because of statements like "I'm only staying her for DD" and "that relationship rebuilding is a bunch of crap". WW has not once said she wants to work on rebuilding our M. That's why yesterday, I figured she should go and "find herself" defined as "attempt to rekindle the A with OM". I know that most of what she says is "fog babble" but because WW didn't break off the A coupled with her desire not to work on our M has me concerned.

WW is still at home. I know there is hope in that. She really hasn't done anything to back up her "hate" statements. I still bring her tea - she doesn't say anything but she doesn't throw it at me either. She responds when talking about real life issues like DD. WW's answers are pretty short but conversation none the less. This morning I called her as I always do. She responded to my good morning with a good morning.

Don't want to make this too long. I hope that deep down I'm not focusing on the little tidbits of hope and missing the big picture of what's happening. The "experienced ones" told me this was painful and that patience (and a good Plan A) may provide the outcome I desire - my wife and family together again.

Is there anything I should do differently? Should I provide her even more "space" in the house? The ups/downs are tremendous but I can see in her face the ups/downs she's going through - even though I've told her in subtle ways that NC is the only way to stop the ride (of course yesterday WW said "you said out of sight out of mind, but that won't work").

Thanks for any feedback/advice......God Bless