I am just SO angry! I wake up with and go to bed with it. I find myself lashing out at my son and everyone around me! Does anyone have any ideas???? I have an appt. for next week to get on AD'S. Hopefully by then I can afford going to the doc and the meds.
I just can't get a grip on the anger!!!!

I know how you feel. I really feel sorry for my kids sometimes. The anti-d will help, also reading my Bible helped me a lot.Sometimes the stress of everything is so overwhelming.Posting on MB has helped me so much because I have something to do with my time.I got a book Getting Anger Under Control.I go to the YMCA daily to workout.Every little bit helps.

Treeeeeeee

Didnt someone on the Spranos say that anger is something turned inside out.??? i cant remember right now....anyway..

I am on A-D...xanax. I carefully take it to coinside with possible encounters with ww. She asked for the separation again today.

She actually wants me to leave, pay for everything and give her money at the same time. She is the one having the A not me.

She says the kids drive her nuts and then says shes not leaving them. What sense does that make.

I also told her that i knew that she was in contact with OM again. you should have seen the look on her face when she asked how i knew and i told her because he said so..!!

Take the meds and youll be fine. I take one (whole) before going to bed and it helps me sleep. I also go to the gym in at 5am to get out some agression. She hates that im bettering myself...."the best revenge is living well"..dont know who said that but i like it.

most important take care of yourself.

its like they say on the plane..."put your oxygen mask on first then place the mask on your child"....you cant take care of you son if you dont take care of yourself.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

man......do i have a spelling problem or what?....or is it a typing problem?

I'm trying hard to do things to keep busy and I even go walking/jogging. It just seems like nothing is helping me! I know it's going to take time to heal. I just wish I didn't feel like this all day long.
I got a bill from my old insurance co. telling me that I owe them 1,200 for my son's heart monitor. They said I wasn't covered at the time. I was so ticked that I called and blessed them out!!!!!!!! I really feel sorry for anybody that crosses me these days. Uggghhhh!

{{{{{{hugs to you all}}}}}}}}

JAH....did you ever figure out the photo thread?

(((TR))) The anger sucks doesn't it? I treated my kids horribly in the days after I first found out. I'd yell over little things and just walk away to be by myself and cry. I don't know that there is a whole lot you CAN do by yourself. The anti-d should help. For more immediate relief, ask the doctor for xanax or ativan while the AD has a chance to kick in. My doctor prescribed ativan for anxiety in addition to wellbutrin for depression. The combination brought me so much closer to the person I was before I found out.

In the meantime, give yourself a break. Try to keep busy and deliberatly plan fun things for you and your S. Something that worked well for me was to break up my days into little chunks. I just had to get through the next three hours without losing my patience or temper. Then, another three and another three. At the end of the day I had usually gotten through at least a few of those and it gave me a definate goal. See if it works. My prayers are with you.

Thank you faithinme. I will ask my doctor about those meds.
I'm trying to plan a weekend away somewhere with my son. Not sure where yet.....probably in the same town just maybe at a hotel and go do fun things. WE used to do that as a family. I miss those times.
Is it normal that I can't cry???? Am I just too angry or what?????

Yup, the anger is very normal. Just one more stage in this whole grief process.

Treeeee

I did get the thread and looked at your pict.....WOW...you and your son are very good looking.....I have to stop hugging or i might not let go.....

I sent in my pict......not sure if they will post it...lol....i kinda look like shrek.....

{{{{{{{{{{{more hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Ok, that's good to know. I just feel so out of wack!!!!!!!

JAH......thanks for the compliment! Makes me feel good. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
Our hugs are harmless! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Just two people trying to help each other out.
Shrek huh????? I like Shrek!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I also used the "break up the day into units" approach with great success. Ok..mine would sometimes be 15 minutes rather than 3 hours..but we all made it through..

I also planned for the small things that would seem impossibly large to be removed as much as possible..we ate a lot of tuna salad on crackers with pineapple for dessert..a lot of it..because I could whip up a batch, and eat on it for a few days, and not have to do dishes if we used paper plates. When taking a shower or brushing your teeth seems like too much effort..cooking and cleaning might put you into the red. I also took the kids out a lot..not because I'm such a great mom..but because they would be distracted and leave me alone. Just generally working under the assumption that even when you are doing nothing more than sitting there..you are still in a highly aroused state. Plan around this as well..do not intentionally bring still more stress into your life..try to take care of things even as small as finding the childrens shoes and putting them by the door so that you won't have to look for them at a bad moment etc.. etc.. every little bit helps. These tactics helped me to cope. That is..they helped me to get through the day without becoming actively psychotic <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ..they will not help to deal with the anger in a lasting and genuine way. You asked for cope though..so I'm presuming that is what you intended.

im out of wack as well...ww is at her sisters with the kids....prob. speaking to an attorney...

i just spoke to mine and he says to stand tall and dont leave the house.

Are you in orlando? my brother lives in orlando...Im in NY.

keep your spirit up.....im here with ya

Noodle...thanks.
I guess I will have to start breaking my day up into hours. I think I'm going to go buy some paint and paint my bedroom. Maybe that will help me. Heck...I'll probably end up painting the entire house. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I'll have a painting party with my friends.

Let the anger flow. Go postal. Fly off the handle. Hurt someone.... Sorry having a bad day. Just manage it the best you can.

ready for painting party.!!!

TR, weightlifting works for me. Gimble recommended it and it works a treat ! And I have proper biceps, triceps and stuff !

I get angry and vent against cold steel. It makes me calk and it makes me fit.

or i go for a run.

or I take a mini sledgehammer to the OMs knuckles and knees....ah thats next week <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

JAH....ok, come on over and help paint. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Bob,
I like the hammer to the knee. That sounds great!!!!!!!!!!!! My community had a fitness center so maybe I should get up there and pump iron!!!!!!!!! I'll be nice and in shape!!!