OW, or maybe just friend now, calls my husband to tell on me every time I call her. I only call to see if she is home or to nicely ask her to talk with me. In the past, several years ago, I was pretty nasty, but for the past five years I have been nice. I just need to know what is going on and no one will tell me. So does OW have a legitimate complaint? Sure, maybe my number shows up on her caller ID and her adult (19-21) children may see it, but I am never inappropriate. I either hang up, just wanting to know if she is home and not with my husband, or I nicely ask her to talk with me. She rudely and quickly ends the conversation, and then tattles on me to my husband. Of course, he seems to take her side, like I may be disrupting her life. Well, pardon me, but isn't that the chance you take when you have an affair with a married man? I need some advice, please, and thank you.

I think you're torturing yourself and should not be contacting her. To what purpose?

Why is your husband in contact with her?

If you call and she answers..how do you know your H is not there?

Why do you want to talk to her? What do you have to say to her?

Why are you with a man who has been having an affair for several years?

panne,

Sorry for my ignorance...but what the Heck is your H doing having ANY contact at all 5 yrs later with a woman he had an Affair with?? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

The problem is not you calling, but that they are still engaged in continued , ongoing contact.

If they were NOT still in contact, then I would tell you to leave this woman alone (cause you shouldn't be having contact with her either).

However as it stands:
After 5 years.....please STOP the insanity!
It may seem normal to YOU after all this time (to be playing these games) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> but its really NOT..........and it is very harmful and Toxic to you & your Marriage as well.

INSIST on NC (no contact) with the OW (other woman) for LIFE!!!!
This goes for YOU, but more importantly for your H (husband).

And NO......they cannot be friends......EVER. (Just can not work). Is it working for you Now??

Unfortunately, There are consequences to A's (affairs) and this is one of them.
Stick up for yourself and stop living in a soap opera (this is NOT healthy for you, your H, or your M).
Insist it stop immediately!

Then get to some pro marriage counseling, Fast.
later

<small>[ August 24, 2004, 09:31 PM: Message edited by: top rope ]</small>