Even though I've "been" feeling stronger..Today while showering - it hit ...

Why do I bother everyday to use the loffah, shave my legs,apply body lotion, then spend another 45 min. dolling the rest of me up - perfect hair, make-up, slim figure, clothes...why get those pedicures, manicures, facials, botox, etc. Why wear sexy Pj's, undergarments?

WHY...When there is noone to tell you how great you look...Noone to hold that soft skin next too, Noone appreciates your effort to be attractive/sexy. You are not appreciated only looked down on - even if nothing is out of place they find "something" wrong with you..WHY put all this effort into yourself when they black you out..They are sleeping separate from you..they don't want you...Just my thought today - I waste ALOT of time to look good and the person I do this for DOESN'T CARE...His high is spending the afternoon in some dark hotel room with OP...

Yesterdays thought wasn't much better...

Why do I want to be with a person that doesn't want ME? Doesn't want to make love to ME? Why do I want to hold onto a one sided M??? What is wrong with me??? Am I just stupid...Why do I hold on? What am I holding onto?? What am I waiting for??? I read Cherri's post in "JFO" and maybe it's the "attachement" I've formed..and I can't let go..

Sorry just venting and alittle sad...10 year A coming up and it's gonna hurt, just like last years..I've put up with this crap for over a year and it's not any better...

FYI - M to a serial cheat...

IH - You don't do it for someone else...you do it for YOU! Girl! What woman doesn't feel better after a mani and a pedi????? And HELLO! Have ever had to let your leg hair grow? I have (for swimming - increases drag)! It sucks. The sheets rub against your legs funky and it feels really gnarly!

If you allowed yourself to get sloppy and go grunge...how would that make YOU feel? Go home, put on some sweats - really baggy sweats, then take all your makeup off, then take a teeny bit of baby oil and rub it in your hair, then don't wash it out. Go look at yourself in a full length mirror. Remember the LADY that walked out of the house this morning, compare the two....which one would you rather be? Now, go take a long, hot bath with a glass of wine and EXFOLIATE!

I'm sending you MONDO squeezes! Chin up! It sounds like you need a spa day with your girlfriends.

- Kimmy

you do all those things because it makes you feel good. Its you and that is who you are....dont change. Dont change a thing and continue to do those things for yourself.

you deserve the way you pamper yourself. it identifies who you are to yourself.....dont let go of yourself.

Hi Ithurts,

Honey there are a lot of men who would die to get a woman who cares so much about her appearance. Please sweetie you have got to just let this man go. He is hurting you too much. If it has been that long you are gonna break down eventually. You deserve better. This is not your fault. This is just how he is and he will never change.

ITHURTS... OH MY GOD.....I feel the same way. When I get in ths shower all that stuff goes through my head. I woke up feeling down this morning also. I just feel like I'm wasting my life away waiting on my H. I can only hope that things will get better. Hang in there....we're all here together.

Dear,

why are you still with this man?

I stuck it out for 9 years with a H who was emotionally abusive, sometimes also physically. He never missed an opportunity to put me down, to belittle me. Why did I stay for that long?
Because I was too young & naive (19) to realise that this man had serious problems of his own - and was using me to vent his anger. I thought, I'm not good enough, I'm not this or that.. that's why he is angry, that's why he drinks, that's why he hits me sometimes, blahblah.

Oh yes occasionnaly he would be in a really good mood and tell me I was the best things that ever happened to him. For the rest of the year I would get cràp from him but I hung on to those nice words.

So I ask you once more - why are you still with this man?

Tree - I'm sending you squeezes, too. I've read your posts, and I've seen your pic...your wh is out of his gourd, imo!

You keep on keeping on...you've come a long way from your first posts!

- Kimmy

Tree - I'm sending you squeezes, too. I've read your posts, and I've seen your pic...your wh is out of his gourd, imo!

You keep on keeping on...you've come a long way from your first posts!

- Kimmy

Yes - we do it to make ourselves feel good - I've always been one to take of myself. But, I'm getting to the point that all this effort only makes me feel bad inside no matter how good I look on the outside.

How can you look so good and still not be wanted/desired?? I think I'm just in the I NEED ATTENTION MODE...I do all this work and I don't go anywhere to be seen - I spend a ton of money on clothes, etc. only to be not seen except in my little office at work. I need a MAN to say I look good..I need reassurance..I am lonely..very lonely and feel unloved...That sounds horrible but it's the truth - I need my ego stroked..Yesterday while shopping 3 women commented on my figure - what good is that.

I need to sit in a bar and be picked-up just like my WH picks up his OP..Not that I'd actually have a ONS - but, getting the attention would help me thru this low time..It would confirm that "someone else" might just want me.

Why am I still with this man???? Attachement, love, don't we always want what we can't have??? I've been spending money like water - just in case WH files for D - I'll show how high maintenance a BS can be...

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by ITHURTS:
<strong> Even though I've "been" feeling stronger..Today while showering - it hit ...

Why do I bother everyday to use the loffah, shave my legs,apply body lotion, then spend another 45 min. dolling the rest of me up - perfect hair, make-up, slim figure, clothes...why get those pedicures, manicures, facials, botox, etc. Why wear sexy Pj's, undergarments?

</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I think all your lady friends here have made great comments & questions but I'm speaking as a Man who really appreciates a woman who takes care of herself as you described.
WOW! You are the BOMB! Don't stop pampering yourself, don't taking the extra time to feel vivrant, attractive and downright sexy!

I'm pretty sure you don't feel like the BOMB right now, neither do I,(for the record I just sent my Plan B letter and I'm feeling empowered yet insecure) but remember we can't allow our spouses poor decisions to in anyway define our self worth, value or esteem. Be You, Do You. You are MAR-VE-LOUS!

Oh - it probably isn't helping that WH just left work giving me some excuses that I don't believe and he's probably meeting OP for some afternoon delight...I could be wrong - but I'm usually right on target. It's amazing how his moood changes from dark in the am then he gets a call and he's happy and leaving work by noon..Too bad he's the boss and can leave when he wants.

Niosgirl.....thanks.
I am feeling a bit stronger each day. It really helps to post on here.

ITHURTS...I agree with Family Matters...we should do thoses things for US and look great for US! I will continue to shave and smell wonderful. WE need to show our WS that we love ourselves and can be happy without them. Trust me this is all hard for me too but we have to think positive!!!!!! I'm trying too!