Does exposure really work and are there dangers to exposure like the OM being abusive you you or your family.

Om is not married and has 2 ex wives. He is a looser that lives at home with mommy and is almost 40. I have alist of people that are important to him...

i could inform his ex wife and it could jepordize his custody with his daighter. She would love another reason to drag his [censored] back to court.

any ideas or thoughts.....?

JAH my exposing to friends and family gave me confidence and caused WW to defend herself.

Exposing to OM GF changed the whole dynamic of this situation from being THEIR control to being MY control.

Exposure is the only dynamic tool BS have in this mess. And for me it has worked fantastically so far. The Affair is dying on its [censored] day by day and all because of their response to exposure.

Yes, there are some grey areas ( such as additional exposure of proof ( see my threads elsehere) but initial exposure to OMs near and dear abso-fricking-lutely.

And if he comes looking for you, cool.

JaH:

The key is that your W's A is either still going on, or it very recently ended and you need 2 get her 2 NC and start withdrawl.

EXPOSE

JAH....I exposed A to OM's mother. He also lives at home with mommy except he's 24. The reaction was shift. Within 5 hours, I had recieved the "why did you call him mother" and "he's a grown man, he can decide his actions". My WW was pi**ed! I continued to Plan A and didn't once LB. Over the course of a week, I Plan A'd and noticed the WW's actions. "I'm so confused" and "I don't know what to do" and "I can see you've changed". The A continued.

I called OM's mother again last Thursday. The first call she said she knew about the A and didn't like it. She said "we are friends in this" considering they (WW/OM) told her I was a marriage counselor and that I was okay and knew how to handle it. The truth was told. Weight loss, saving marriage, the whole nine. With this second call (actually started on speaker phone and as I was telling her who it was, I heard her say "Hi WW's name". Funny, I thought she was out with friends for dinner! Anyway, OM's mother went into another room and we talked for about 30 minutes. I told her that she knew her son (who had approached her for her opinion of the A) and that if she wanted to tell OM that I called, to go ahead. This weekend all he** broke loose. OM called it off with WW. The response was again was swift and immediate. My earlier post "EXPOSURE WORKS.....WW SAID IT'S OVER" covers all the details.

Right now, I'm in day four of withdrawal. The experienced ones said it's hard and I can now attest to that.

Bottom line.....Exposure works (or at least it did for me - quickly too).

Hope this helps.......Good Luck......LS

Do you realize HOW funny this is?

"why did you call him mother"

followed by this ....

"he's a grown man, he can decide his actions".

LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> soooo silly WW ... grown Man ... getting ratted out via his Mommie LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Did mommie spank him afterwards too???? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Pep <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

God help my son if someone ever called me up and told me HE was messing with a married woman!! He knows he would die! He may be age 22 and 6'4", but I can still reach his [censored]!

It would not be pretty........ <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

I needed to read that!!!! Humor is sometimes hard to find for me as I go through this. But now I'm smiling and typing!!....Thanks!

JAH.....Exposure even sometimes provides a good laugh when needed!!!

.....LS <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

JAH - I don't think exposing to his XWs will be effective. Why would exposure, given today's legal approaches to infidelity and child custody, affect an XW's custody issue? Because he's dishonest? Heck, if THAT works, I'll go back to court to get full custody of my son.

Expose to HER side of the family and to HER close friends who might be influential.

WAT

<small>[ August 25, 2004, 08:57 PM: Message edited by: worthatry ]</small>

Thanks for all of the replies.....I guess exposure works on some level and cant really hurt (any more) at this point.

Exposure is always right. Anything less is a rationalization. A half measure. Telling the truth never the wrong thing to do. The truth may cause problems or complications but in the long run, it it is the bottom line, not just a way to get there.
Coach