Hey all. I have heard some terrific book suggestions on these boards before, and I am looking for some of those now.

H and I had a great talk last night, and he is beginning to recognize what his ENs are, and there is a very important one that he doesn't feel he is getting from me. Appreciation.

I do appreciate him. BUT, I also realize that I tend to focus on what isn't going well, rather than what is. I do the same with my kids, too. Not consciously, but when I am not paying attention, it is like my default setting.

So, instead of hearing how much I appreciate my H working every day and being our sole breadwinner, being a great dad to his two boys, helping out around the house with chores when needed and never complaining about it, taking care of the yard, and in general being a GREAT guy . . . he hears, "You work too much, you don't spend enough time with the family, you don't make wise choices when doing things (ie, buying sandals for the boys, haircuts for the boys, rollerblades for the boys)."

MY side is that if he is going to do me a "favor," I wish he'd pay closer attention to 1)prices, 2)sizes, and 3)the fact that the lady cutting their hair didn't hardly cut anything off and now I have to take them back in 2 weeks!

BUT, he is doing these things as favors, and if I want them done my way, I should just do them? Or find a way to express my expectations in a constructive way? Or . . . you see, this is why I am needing some books! Very good books! Like, "Learning to Show Appreciation for Dummies," or something like that.

One title I have heard a few times is something like "The Proper Care and Watering of Husbands," or something like that. That sounds like what I need. And I am completely open to other suggestions.

FYI, this IS going to be a major topic regarding my kids, too, when I begin IC again.

Thanks all for your time!

SS