you know im here for ya......

robby...my son is already signed up to play ball and all of his friends play with him. I don't want to take that away from him. I will just ignore my WH and be there for my son!

Bob & JAH....
Thank you for your support. I am very thankful for this site. It lets you know that you aren't the only one going through all of this and that there are people out there who want to help. I will forever be grateful for that.

I'm doing ok this morning. I have lots to do today so it will keep my mind occupied.

I will survive!!!!!

Tree - You will make it. When I first went thru all this crap, I leaned REAL HARD on the people here. That is what really helped.

Thanks believer! I keep telling myself that over and over....I WILL MAKE IT!!!!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I was just thinking about something my son said last night. He was taking a bath and washing his hair...I walked in and was telling him how cut he is and he said "I look like you mom." We started talking about how he had my eyes and mouth....he said "I have daddy's ears but now that daddy isn't here I guess they're just mine now."
I know it was just a simple comment but it hit me like a brick wall. I felt so awful. He is feeling abandoned by his father and doesn't really know how to express his hurt.
Just wondered if anybody had any good advice for me? He loves his dad so much and for him not to be here is killing him. My poor little boy!!!!

Kids say the darndest things.

My gut is to tell your H exactly what he said, but that is most likely LB. I am in hatefull place right now, so don't go there.

I think you can at least take from it the fact that your son is a healthy kid that is dealing with a crappy situation.

You must have done and will continue to do a GREAT job raising him so far for him to be that 'in touch'

TR thats one smart kid you got there. mazing how little'uns can articulate far better than adults can.

You have done a great job raising that kid it seems.

Yes, it sad that dad ain't here right now but you know what its an absolute MIRACLE that you are !

I have stepped up to be Mom and dad to my kids for a while, and you may not have noticed that you have done the same.

Take a step back, pat yourself on the back and be proud of where your hard work and instincts have brought you and your son. Your actions under stress have been nothing short of heroic TR.Your quiet resiience shames your WS.

You and your boy will ALWAYS have each other.
{{{TR}}}}

TREE, sorry for the pain your in but everyone has told you is true it will get better .

In the case of your son (I do not rember how old ) BUT with my kids even though very young I talked and talked ....

I hid nothing , I asked them to express themselves and never hold back ,, MY WH hated this that I was open but my son was/is a sensitive and very smart child ,,, SO my PED's doc and me agreed that I should be open to him and at time force him to express if he held back and got withdrawn .

Always reminding them that DADDY loves them and that he will always be apart of them no matter where he lives .

We watched shows on D and also rea books about it ,, so that he may ask questions knowing that he put it together the stroys in the shows and books to what may be happening at home .

when your son said, that about the ears ,, I don not know what your response was ... BUT you could try this ..

Silly of course they are your ears ,, but they will always look like your farhters , he is part of you as well as me .. we are always your parents no matter what .

DO not worry if that leads him to another question , you will handle it .
And if you don't know the answer just say that ,, even adults do not know everything ..

JMO ,, I found it worked very well so that my son never withdrew from his feelings ...

MY children sae alot that I am not proud of but I do not beat myself up over it anymore ,,, MY FWS was driving me insane and they where there for it I had no one for them to stay with when the beack down came .

He will be ok , and loved keep the HUGS going and communicate with him .

Thanks for the responses.
I did tell my son that he will always have his daddy's ears and that we both love him very much. My son is very sensitive. He feels everything that I'm feeling so I have to be very careful around him. If he sees me staring off into space he'll ask me if I'm thinking about daddy. He's so smart!!!!!
I would give my life for my son! I will do whatever it takes to give him a happy childhood with or without my H here.
I keep thinking about something my H said to me.... He said that I need to think about me and stop putting our son first becasue he will not always need me. I thought that was a very cruel thing to say. My son will always need me....I'm his mother. I still need my parents and I'm 34 yrs. old. How could he say such an awful thing????

hi tree.....giving you hug, and a big hang in there.

How long has WH been gone?

It does get easier with time. Mine is gone 4 weeks this Friday, Im still not together, but i have come a long way in 4 weeks.

take care, get as many hugs as you can from your boy. Trust me when there teenagers, you got to grab them to hug them. Well my S, but not my D, she gives hugs often.

Take Care, Tree
A/C0810

Thanks A!
It's been almost 3 weeks. It's still really hard for me. I don't know how long I can continue on this path but I guess only time will tell what's meant to be huh?

Hugs to you too!