by Sherry Argov.

If any of you read this book , what do you think of it.

I skimmed it at the bookstore, and thought it made sense.

She talks about how men are attracted to strong confident women who aren't doormats etc.

(uh, that would be me- the doormat...but only when I am around him for some reason)

As much as I know, men love their women being smarter and stronger than all other women, but not as much as they are themselves. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Challenges, my dear... men (in general!!!) like more challenges than women, hunting 'as a sport', changes...
"Doormat" is conquered by its own nature already, nothing exciting to 'fight' for it...
No boundaries to be tempted to cross...

None can love you and respect you if you don't love and respect yourself - that's my deep belief.

(Haven't read the book, hope you don't mind me writing a few thoughts...)


Please don't consider yourself as a 'doormat'; you are just woman who loves and - try...
This means you should love and respect yourself even more than others who are not capable of loving and working hard for their M!
This means you have to ask from him the same for yourself!

Shul, look out for those wiiiiild generalizations.

You might have some mud on your back, but it washes off.

What's the right thing to say as an agnostic when I want to say "god bless you"?

Oh lawdy I'm a confused dude sometimes. God bless you Shul.

GC

;;;;;She talks about how men are attracted to strong confident women who aren't doormats etc.

men love b****'s because they are stupid.

Exactly, I agree - every generalization is wrong and might hurt quite more than one person...

PS: It's the same "logic" if said - why women are attracted to bast***s but not to nice guys...

(This generalization would hurt me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> )

Anyname: WRONG! My W is a b#$%@ (and she'll admit that! (I hope. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> )) But one of the most intelligent women that I know.

Liny, I wasn't talking about you! Of course you are not stupid. I meant ALL other men who are attracted to b*tches. Geez, now, fancy you thinking I meant you!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Shul,

I have that book, the whole theme is that men like woman who have a life apart from them, who can hold their own. As BTN states, they need a challenge, a mystery, someone who holds back just a little. Someone who makes them work for it.

The 180 that Ark listed a while ago would be an ideal way to turn a relationship back to that kind of a challenge again, I think.

The problem in this is that if you are dealing with someone who is unhealthy, is that if you are not completely healthy you get pulled back into a unhealthy relationship, and all gets lost, once again you become a doormat and the relationship quickly goes back to what it was.

You would first have to become totally and completely healthy, then your WH would be forced to face his own issues and unhealthiness if he wanted to have any kind of a relationship with YOU. Much, much work on yourself first, then ideally that would start to have an impact on him. Plan B is a way people are able to have enough seperateness to be able to achieve their own healthiness, without being drug back down by the unhealthy person.

That's the way I see it anyway.

Weaver

HATE the word "DOORMAT" . It has a different face to different people . Thats why it should not be said, well let me correct that any one can say anything but it is to hurtful cause it means different things to everyone .

I have not read the book , but the title itself is well insulting ,,,FIRST to men .

Then it insults the fact that a women would have to be a B@#$^ in order to have a good relationship ..JMO on the title alone .

NO game playing in a R ,, a person should be themself and will inturn attract a person who respects them for them .

If a man wants a B#$^$ then he can find her , if you are a nice person with love in your heart and open and honest then you gotta hoe that it will bring you the person who wants a women like that .

I know of the 180 ark speacks of and yes very affective ,,, but no one can really change who they are deep down

IF your not a TRUE B%*$# then your NOT !

JMO

WOW!
WE DO? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

I don't know about that!
but I will say this....*clears throat...
I would prefer a woman with a sense of self that is engaging but I do not want to navigate tremendous obstacles for mediocre results. These women who are B's better be all that and a bag of chips and dips! In my experience, it's usually a front. Fronts are a let down and a huge turn off. I don't care if they are supposedly positive fronts. I've always respect women who liked who they are, so basically there's no need to be a B* just have some self-respect and a good self-image, this is attractive regardless if you're a extrovert, introvert, passive or aggressive. IMHO, being confident is the first ingredient to attraction and the first element in that concoction of a soup called "Keeping Your Man Interested" that and of course at least most of your teeth <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />