I have been separated from my wife now for 4 months. She is on her second affair in that time and has moved out of my house and taken my 3 year old daughter with her. Our marriage has probably been rocky form day one. As a matter of fact we probably could say we had a difficult dating period. There have been several breakups and many tramatic things that even the strongest marriages don't usually have to go through.
Anyway, our relationship has been a downward spiral of LB's for several years and neither one of us really new it until it was too late. We were both following our instincts. The separation was mutual, but we seemed to have gone in totally separate directions. I looked toward seeking answers and wisdom and she looked toward getting over it and getting on with it.
We have made some progress, but my stress level is so high that sometimes I have a very difficult time supporting her in her decisions. She moved out at the first of August and I have been spiralling downward ever since. I am questioning what to do next and whether or not I can even handle the reconciliation process.
My question for the group is: should I expose her actions to her family. She has so far kept both this affair and the previous one secret from everyone but me, as well as many other crucial parts of her past in regards to our marriage and history. Because of my friendship with her aunt, I have told her the truth, but her aunt feels it is not her place to tell her parents. Her parents are supporting her financially right now and giving her the ability to lead a life with no consequences. I know she would have never moved out and things would have continued to progress between us if her parents hadn't given her the opportunity to escape. I also know they would not have given her that opportunity if they had known the truth. At this point I'm sure they think I am a horrible person. My question again is: should I expose the affair? Is it worth the repercusions I will receive in the form of anger from my wife? At this point she has done nothing to demonstrate that she is going to actually file for divorce other than telling me she wants to and moving out on her own. (Oh yeah, and having another affair) I don't want to push her over the edge, but I don't know how much more I can take. I don't want to tell her family out of anger or revenge, and I sure don't want to ruin my chances of reconciling (if that is even the right course at this point) but I feel like they should know, because I have helped her keep the real her hidden for so long. I am lost and I don't know where to go from here.
