My husband and I have been separated since June and noe he is living with her now and using his apartment as an office. He refuses to stop seeing her and work on our marriage. So today I told him since he was unwilling to work toward our marriage I was filing for a legal separation.
It was the hardest thing I have ever done. I love him but her isn't willing to stop his behavior. I told him I would never give up but I had to do this to protect me and the children.
Emotionally, I'm devastated, my head says it was the right thing to do. 17years down the tubes.

LMH, there are many things you can do if you want to save your M. You must decide if you WANT legal seperation or if you WANT to rescue your marriage.

Marriagebuilders Plan A and plan B are proven templates that can help cease affairs so that reconciliation can begin.

I am not saying that you shouldn't file, just that you should be sure what outcome you want to achieve before you do.

I am a newbie to this - six weeks in - but my own situation as changed immeasurably using plan A in that time.

Knowledge is your power - read the precepts on this site, read the stories of the old hands, read Surviving an affair....learn the dynamics of affairs - yes including the one your spouse is having - and see what tools you have to use against them.

My own path has not been easy but I wholeheartedly recommend fighting back using smarts if you want your WS back.

All kind thoughts and blessings LMH {{{{LHM }}}}

Hello {{lostmyheart}},

Well,after reading your other posts,do you still really want to be with this abusive man? Multiple A's and physical violence is not something anyone should fight for.As hard as that is,there are so many issues with your WH that it may be time to give yourself a break and let your WH work on his own self worth and character ALONE.

You have taken the first step in protecting yourself and your children even though it is difficult.I know how that is,we all do.Prayers to you and hugs too.We are here for you.

O

This is my husbands 3rd affair we have sought counseling both times and obviously nothing changed. In May he assaulted me sending me to the hosoital just because I found out about the affair. He doesn't want to meet with me and he simply wants to give everything to her.
Our 13 year old fell down the stairs the other night and I ran after him falling myself. Both of us were hurt and ended up at the doctors, he told my other son (twin brother) just take him to the hospital if it got worse and hung up. He wasn't coming over to help. I think I'm past Plan A so I have moved to Plan B since he refuses to give this OW up. AM I wrong?

You are definitely not wrong. Believe in yourself. No matter what principles this website dictates, when it comes to domestic violence you must look after yourself and your children. We have one precious chance on this earth. Do not waste it on an abusive, adulterous man. Try hard to break free.

Sorry, I did not read your other posts.

Get safe. Nothing else matters right now. God bless.