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My ww wont leave our house (not curretly a home). She says she is not leaving her kids. The best place for the children is in their home. They are 9, 7 and 1.
It has been suggested to me that i offer her rent on an appratment to live in. Rent paid by me for a limited amount of time of course.
I have told her that if she needs to leave then she can but she is hell bent on proceeding stratight to a separation or D. She swears that the OM has nothing to do with her decision but contiues to contact him like a little school girl.
her being here is really destructive to me and my children. She constantly tries to bait me into fights and is bascily on the phone all day and ignores the kids or pushes them off on her sister or a neighbor.
I also run my business from home so i am around most of the time which raises the tension.
Any thoughts?
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Joined: Jul 2004
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JAH..
Is your wife a SAHM?
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Joined: Jul 2004
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JAH, I can't offer you insight I'm afraid other than to say I will be in the same situation if contact doesn't cease soon in Plan A. My WW is a SAHM with no source of income other than me.
My home is also my office for my role in the huge multinational I work for.
Good luck JAH. {{{jah}}}
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Joined: Jan 2002
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yes she is a stay at home mom
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Rather than pay her to leave....
I'd make it cost her to stay. Have a conversation with her..in which the two of you discuss her job description..which does not include having an affair, or neglecting the children..etc...I'd word it more tactfully of course..but essentially I'd make it clear that she can pull her load in this family with her efforts in the home..or she can pull it with a job [the profits of which contribute to the home, none of this my own money until she has her own apt], or she can leave and do as she likes on her own dime. Fire alarm just went off..so I'll end here.
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Plan B isn't something you negotiate on. When it's time for Plan B, it's a last-ditch, no-holds-barred effort to protect yourself, your kids, your spouse, and your marriage.
You just do it.
If she's not willing to leave? Eh, great. Take the kids and move out, and let her figure out how to pay the mortgage and stuff.
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JJ, that is some brutal food for thought sho' nuff.
But its the only way I could plan B.
I will start thinking about that. Problems abound inasmuch as I am responsible financially for our mortgage etc, but If I moved abroad AND continued to save the required sums every month into an account without telling WW, I could hopefully mitigate the trouble I would get in.
A Big thought.
Taking my kids somewhere just leaving her here. Wow. That would be a total plan B. She'd be screwed though, thts the problem. Absolutely screwed. No money, and no idea how to manage home financial affairs.
Thanks for that seed !
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Joined: May 2004
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JAH, I have a similar situation. WW neglects everything but the phone and computer. She wants me to leave. I don't necessarily want her to leave, but if she wants to be away from me I think it is her who should leave the kids instead of me.
My WW also baits me terribly, and hurtfully. She swears it has nothing to do with OM but it all started after she met him.
JustJ, I kind of agree with you a little. But my WW could care less if the mortgage got paid. I work to pay the bills for the whole family and she takes care of only herself.
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If leaving you is THAT important 2 her, she can find a job and earn the money 2 pay for it.
I wouldn't even take the kids and make her find a way 2 pay the mortgage. It hurts your credit.
If she can't find a job and earn the money 2 pay for a place of her own, then it's not THAT important 2 her 2 leave.
Plan A.
-ol' 2long
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