<small>[ September 25, 2004, 10:44 AM: Message edited by: pemberley ]</small>

A possible response:
"When you only care about yourself, then expect no one else to care about you."

My in-laws were the same way...selfish, selfish, selfish. The latter years spend alone in front of the television, angry and depressed. Their selfishness turned into hatred because no one cared about them. They took that anger and turned it into hatred of everyone and died alone-literally-alone in a bed-one at a hospital and the other at a nursing home. Very few people came to their funerals which mainly consisted of business associates of my husband. He too has only one close friend. I doubt many will come to his funeral either and he'll end up as his father, lonely in a nursing home where even the staff can't stand him.

Pem, your husband will go down this road and hoepfully learn that the most precious things in life are family and friends. He's throwing away his family. I feel sorry for him but he's going to learn that what goes around, comes around.

<small>[ September 25, 2004, 10:45 AM: Message edited by: pemberley ]</small>

I suggest that isn't utterly fog talk, that attitude is heartfelt from all affairees. Every WS talks about the A being for THEM and THEIRS and they're tired of being givers etc etc. As are utterly, completely selfish. They don't even care for OP other than teh pleasure they get from them.

I think its horrible and you WS will be embarrassed that he ever thought like that when he gets over it.

Pem,

I would later do what he said: "....You have to put yourself ahead of everything and everyone else- only then can you can reach your full potential and be satisfied with yourself as an individual. A marriage can't work unless you do that. This is what I'm doing now, and it's what you need to do too."


Then take him to the cleaners. PUll out all the guns and if he asks why, tell him that is what he said you should do.

YIKES!??!? No, fogtalk and he needs to eat it just as much as he dished out. No more being nice. He is too dumb to appreciate anything so don't waste your breathe. Always be on the lookout for your H but as long as the WS is all you see, don't treat him like the H. No more plan A, learn plan B.

Of course your mind and heart need t/b in sync in order for plan B to work right.

BTW, why should you have to move out? Why can't he bring in the bacon so he family does not have to suffer for his A? At least your living conditions need t/b the same. If he has to work more jobs to have the A, let him.

L.