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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 509
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Joined: Jun 2004
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So I am closing on the new mortgage on Tuesday ok? Well, I had to put 5% down on the house and didn't have the whole amount. My father is loaning me the money. I talked to my mother yesterday and she and my dad want to be at the closing because they will have interest in the house. I just don't want my father to lose his cool and make her feel like she is being confronted or something. She is the one who messed up, but I don't want anything to scare her off at this point. I don't think it's a good idea for her to have to face them at this point. Then again, if they could treat her with kindness, maybe it would make coming back less scary for her. Any opinions?
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 10,816
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Is she buying the house with you?
If not, why does she need 2 be there? I can understand if she WANTS 2 be there even if she's not on the title, and why you'd want her there. If that's the case, talk 2 your folks before and find out if it could be a problem with them.
If she is buying the house with you, your parents have 2 decide whether they want 2 help you buy the house. I hope they do.
-ol' 2long
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,710
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Juke,
I agree confrontation is likely to scare her. She'll feel attacked & all her fears will be confirmed that she will never be forgiven for this & will probably have her high-tailing it away from all of you very quickly. It will just reiterate to her that you are better off w/o her.
I would have a sit-down w/your parents & explain to them that you know they care about you & would like to "tell her off", you would prefer that they treat her w/kindness when they see her.
In Christ's Love,
Yvette
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Joined: Jun 2004
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2Long- i am buying her out of the house and she is getting a check for her share of equity. That's why she will be there.
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Joined: Feb 2004
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> 2Long- i am buying her out of the house and she is getting a check for her share of equity. That's why she will be there. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Out of curiosity, what is the reasoning behind this?
Ethan
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Joined: Jun 2004
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thefurnitureman-
Because she filed for D and it will be final in three weeks. She almost came home a few days ago and said to wait on the mortgage and then she said to go ahead with it. She is not ready to come home and I think it is better either way if the house is mine. Probably better for us to get D also so that I am protected if she does come back. We could get re-married when the time is right. I posponed the house for months while she was pressuring me to get it done. Now once it has started of course she is thinking of coming home. it really isn't a big deal with the house either way. It will cost us about 1500.00 by doing this if she were to come back. Oh well.
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Joined: Jun 2004
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Oh yeah, her name was only on the house before so I have to get a whole new mortgage in order for it to be in mine only.
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Joined: Feb 2004
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It just seems like it would make things "easier" on her, ya know?
Couldn't this wait until after the D is final?
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Joined: Jun 2004
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I assume you considered having her just quit the claim. $1500 is a pretty easy out. I think my WW will try to get more.
GC
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Joined: Jun 2004
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Furniture, it's too late the mortgage is going. She took on 3/4's of our debt and is using the money to pay some of that off. Not using it to party or anything.
GC- the 1500.00 is closing costs not her share, her share is like 5000.00. I just mean if we did get back together we wasted 1500 on a new mortgage.
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Joined: Feb 2002
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juke, graycloud:
While both you dude units are on here at the same time, I thought I'd threadjack and suggest you both check out Alostsoul's massive thread of his experiences, which he just bumped up 2day.
A good read. A bit like both your sitches. He ended up DV'd, but not until he'd posted and gotten some 2uite excellent feedback.
-ol' 2long
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