I havent posted much of my story but I need some words of wisdom today.

SepH and I have come so close so getting back together and we will be right at the moment and he brings back his g/f. Both times we decided towork it out he has brought her back. First time he said" well you arent moving home for a few weeks so why cant I see her until then"
Second time he said I wasnt really trying to work it out since I wouldnt pack up myself and son ans spend weeknights at his house. Not move back in, just spend nights. He has an open invitation to stay here with son and I anytime he wants. It is easier than packing for my son and I for the night. But noooooooo since I didnt do it, I wasnt trying hard enough, so guess who is back.
When she is back I am basically cut off from my son during the weekend. H gets son every other weekend. I know it isnt a lot of time to go without him, but it tears me up inside. Especially since my door is always open for H to come and be with son. I have never refused him.

So this weekend is Dads weekend. I was telling H how it bothers me that I am cut off when g/f is there. H says that I am more than welcome to come over and hang with the 3 of them!
I am more than welcome to go to what was my home, my things, my life and visit with H G/f and son. I told him I would. I figured that it would make her miserable to have me there. But as the weekend came closer and I woke up this morning I was sick. Just sick thinking about the thought of the visit. H was supposed to call me this morning to let me know what was going on. He called a few hours late, he had to work this am so G/F is watching my son. He asked what I wanted to do, we could BBQ or something.
Of course I freaked and acted like a baby. Of course I cried and acted stupid.

I am losing it. I am not the happy, silly, funny, outgoing person I once was.
I just want my life back. I just want my family back. Why does he act like its going to happen and then keep the G/F?
Why cant I let go? Why cant I accept he doesnst want to be with me? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

I don't know how long this has been going on but I think you need to cut all contact with him. You need time to heal. How horrible of him inviting you to spend time with the three of them. you need to stop all contact with them. That is the best advice I can give without knowing your entire story. It will be difficult at first but you will feel a lot better in 2 weeks.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by cookies:
Why cant I let go? Why cant I accept he doesnst want to be with me? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You need his clear answer, a no for you&him together, but all you have is him giving you false hope...
He doesn't know what he really wants... or maybe he wants both (all)...

You might set some boundaries to protect yourself from additional pain...?

The essence of your story is sooo similar to mine... and I inpatiently wait for some wise answers here too...

Cookies....Reading your post gets me angry/upset (whatever the feeling). Join us my a$$! Sorry, you probably didn't need to read that but that's my first reaction.....

My post will bump this up. You may consider adding more information about your situation, D-Day, separation, etc. There is so much help here and so many that either have or are going through the same. More often than not, it helps to just toss the whole scenario up for grabs and read the responses.

Keep posting and God Bless......LS

"join them my a**"
That is exactly what I thought. Join them in my home, my life and watch them be a family. And he acts like Im unreasonable becuase I have issues with it.

We seperated Sept 04. We said for a 6 month break, I only signed a 6 month lease. We wanted to work it out but felt with all the anger we needed a break for our own sakes. As soon as I moved out, his song changed. He was serious about one of his ONS. and he didnt want to work it out anymore.
6 months ago he said he would like to give it a chance. Put our family back together. But he hasnt truly ended it with G/F. He ends it for a few weeks at a time and then shes back. Its making me crazy.
Actually Im making myself crazy. I know I need to make some decisions and stop waiting for him to be the one to decide my life. Its just hard...

Cookies....Have you been able to read up on the stuff on this website? Plan A, Plan B, etc.? I am by no means one of what I call the "experienced ones" as I'm only a few weeks into trying to work this out.

From I what I do know, it sounds like he is certainly riding the fence and eating his cake. I agree with Belonging and 2Kids....It's probably time for a hefty dose of Plan A quickly followed by Plan B.

Plan A has actually helped me work on myself. I was able to have a plan in my mind and execute it. Focusing on me rather than what my WW was doing gave me some clear direction in my life. Briefly, I lost 28lbs in a little over 4 weeks, stopped being productive, etc. Knowing what Plan A was about helped tremendously. It hurt, there's no doubt but when I was around my WW, my mind was able to take over and I realized that my consistent actions meant so much more than words, tears, anger, etc. I noticed a change in my WW that she didn't even see. I've learned that a good Plan A is a pre-cursor to a good Plan B. I'm very close to Plan B and I'm making damn sure that before I do that, I've tossed a good Plan A her way. Time and patience will tell.

I hope you're able to read the principles here. They make sense to so many in a situation where "sense" seems to have all but disappeared. Take some time, work on yourself, read, learn, apply and it just may be what is needed to kick him right off of that fence. Either way, I am typing here today to tell you that it does get better. Reading your post tells me that you've been in turmoil for quite awhile. As difficult as it sounds, you can make a difference and although you CAN'T jump square into his mind and make him change it, you CAN start working on yourself and become wiser, better and stronger than you may realize........