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Well, it was bound to happen. For those of you who don't know, my h had an almost 3 year a with the tart (or da kooze, you choose...both are okay with me), resulting in 2 children that I love dearly. Everything has been cool and froody and we were ALL gettin' on. Up till last week, that is. By Friday, Nio was distancing himself again. BS's you know what I mean...and when you've been thru it once, you KNOW the signs and are constantly on the lookout for them. I call Nio at work Sat. morning and he's so cold (after MONTHS of loving calls) and tells me point blank that he's leaving. I was crushed. CRUSHED. All of my plan Aing was for nought (I thought). I asked him to come home so we could talk. He told me he'd started sleeping with da kooze again and he only wanted to be with her (like Faith, da kooze lives in SAT - we live at the coast). WAIT: IT GETS BETTER! Sunday morning he gets up to go to work and tells me that he DOES love me, he just needs to figure things out (can anyone say, "Eels aboard my hovercraft?"). You all should've seen the fog in the house! I'm amazed the gerbils didn't die! I must tell you all - after all that I've been through, I really didn't want to keep breathing yesterday. I'm just so damn tired. I'm exhausted and spent. So I told myself, I'd allow me the weekend to greive and mourn and then keep on with my most wonderful plan A. Well, here's the good part: I talked to the tart yesterday....SHE'S NOT SLEEPING WITH MY H....SHE'S GOT A BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!! She'd just told Nio that last week. Hmmmmmmmmmmm. Can anyone but me add this up? She also got a waitressing job at a bar (which is how Nio met her - she was a waitress at a bar we owned). Hmmmmmmm. 2 plus 2 equals a massive amount of eels, I guess?!?! So he has to figure out what, exactly? If he wants me and our two kids, his stable life at the coast, or if he wants to move in with her and her SIX kids, and have to look for another job in SAT. For those of you with kids, you understand the dilemma, right? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> For those of you without kids, let me paint a picture of his life coming home from work: He comes home, changes his clothes, all the while 6 rabid kid billy goats are running screaming through the apartment that is just a tad bigger than the one you had in college. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> LMAO! So not only are there eels aboard my hovercraft...they're EATING the hovercraft...which is fine by me, because I am an avid fan of the Food Network, and I'm certain they have a nice recipe for eel pie. To top it off...G'ma is ill...and Nio is in Waco (Wacko) for a training course (I know because I talked to his CO). I have to get thru this week somehow, and hope some of you out there will help me keep my sanity as my two rabid kid goats are totally taking advantage of mom's stressing. Oh. And the diet is ON! Haven't been able to eat anything since Friday night. I'm running on Diet Coke/Dr. Pepper and about 3 hrs. sleep. Lost 5 lbs. already. Joy. At least my bikini has adjustable straps.... - Kimmy <small>[ October 04, 2004, 08:51 AM: Message edited by: Niosgirl ]</small>
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Kimmy, you do hide your pain well.
So did he or didn't he, and if he didn't, why would he say he did, and if he did, why would she say he didn't? Heavens to murgatroyd!
It almost sounds like he had a little fog fit, like he called the tart and got all squirrely, and he's just starting to cool. When was the last time NC was broken that you know of?
GC
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Kimmy,
Can I just tell you that I have been reading your posts for some time now, and I'm am completely impressed by you.
You are the QUEEN of optimism ! Your humor and your keen ability to LIVE life and not let life LIVE you...get you through EVERYTHING!!!
You're amazing. I have a feeling Nio knows he can't walk away from you...you are truly one of a kind.
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GC, I don't think she's lying. I heard her boyfriend in the background as we were talking. He was singing to her...it was kinda sweet, really. He said it so I'd get pissed with him. She was FURIOUS that he told me they were sleeping together. She said it made her look worse than she already did...she was correct on that front, I must say! </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It almost sounds like he had a little fog fit, like he called the tart and got all squirrely, and he's just starting to cool. When was the last time NC was broken that you know of? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">We don't have NC. We have a plan mapped out for pickup/dropoff of the kiddoes, and they talk about the kids now and then. The fogginess is b/c she has a bf, I am 110% certain. It's like there's another hound sniffing around his territory, so he HAS to go piss all over it to mark it again. Scuse my less than ladylike analogy, but I think it fits in this sitch. BiNJ - </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I have a feeling Nio knows he can't walk away from you...you are truly one of a kind </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">He DOES know that. You should've seen him last night...all huggy and kissy and goo-goo eyed at me...telling me I'm the most wonderful and understanding woman ever. He can be such an idiot! The stupidest thing he does/did is to try to anticipate my reactions to things...he still hasn't figured out that I KNOW what he's doing most of the time. Really, all the things he says and does when he's in this mode are straight out of the mothership programming. Anywho - thank you all for listening. Going to put some Kid Rock on now so I can get my moxy back. - Kimmy
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PS - Do you think it'd be a LB to go get my addition to my tattoo while he's gone? He always goes with me b/c it's on my backside and my artist is a guy.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> (insert totally wicked grin and a little wicked snort here)
- Kimmy
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Kimmy, don't get me started about music. I listened to Husker Du all day Sat. while I worked around the house. Talk about getting amped.
I've been thinking about getting a tattoo myself. Definite LB - independent behavior.
GC
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He just called me. He says he wants to come home early from the training...I don't see how he can, since the SO is paying for it...I do hope he does, tho. He said he *thinks* he needs to get on with our life together and let her get on with hers. I told him that he's just prolonging the pain if he doesn't - for everyone.
I love him so much...even tho he can be the biggest dorkface in the world...in all other areas, the the total best, but regarding her, he's such a fool.
So, GC, what are you getting? I've got a lovely butterfly surrounded by two hibiscus flowers on my lower back. I want to get the Japanese symbol for crysalis right above the butterfly....reminding to me that I'm constantly
in the process of becoming something better and more beautiful.
- Kimmy
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I've only thought about it a little. Maybe the archangel Michael (my middle name) defeating the devil, if I could find a simple enough version of it. Maybe something simpler would be good. I have a friend with lots of ink, and he told me I have to get a tattoo if I wind up divorced.
GC
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Ew. I dunno, GC. That's not such a [censored] hot idear, at least not for me. D'ya really want something that every time you look at it, it'll remind you? My tats are all "hopeful," kwim (like my crysalis to be)? None of them have been done when in pain. I think that'd make me more bitter...capice?
I got my navel pierced after dday. It was my little rebellion, but it wasn't like something to get back at him....I guess that's why your friend says to get inked? Like, it's some kind of spirit freeing thing? I dunno. Help me out here, I'm trying to wrap my brain around it....
- Kimmy
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I didn't think Michael was about the A. But I'll probably not do that cuz tattoos of human figures can look awful cheesy.
Ever see the remake of "Cape Fear"? I loved the tattoos they had on Max Cady. "Vengeance is mine..."
Maybe a hawk. That's my power animal! At least, it's one of my nicknames.
GC
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Nio's been wanting a St. Michael tat. He's the patron saint of law enforcement officers. Nio keeps a communion card on the inside of his bullet proof vest with St. Michael's portrait on it. A hawk would be nice. Have you seen the tat progams on the travel channel and discovery? There was one guy with a likeness of Hank McCoy (Beast) of the X-Men...I almost fell out of my chair it was SO effing awesome! Okay. Going to lock the door now and crawl under my desk. I'm wiped and am going to nap during lunch. Hopefully the doc called the pharmacy back and I can get my zoloft. This was NOT the weekend to run out, only to realize I had no more refills available!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> - Kimmy
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Kimmy, back to you. How many of these fog fits has he had since things ended?
Can you think of what it might do for him, having her around? How does he feel about her as a mother? Assuming he's responding to the feeling that she's becoming less available to him, I'm just wondering what he may feel he's losing, aside from the vague idea of a potential sexual opportunity.
GC
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Kimmy,
Not sure if I've ever posted you before but just wanted to agree with the other statement about your sense of humor. Despite your pain because of this, you have a killer sense of humor! If I had 1/10th that much wit, I might actually be fun.
As for the tat, I had considered off and on getting one, but just couldn't decide.
When WH went and slept with the sleaze for the first time, that's when I decided. I have a very pretty butterfly with what I term 'whoop-de-doo's' surrounding it on my lower back.
No meaning in particular, other than it just represents beauty and peace and happiness and good things. The lack of ugliness.
Keep your head up through this latest mess.
LL
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> How does he feel about her as a mother? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">He tells me he thinks she is a good mother, but between you, me and the fencepost, the last two times we had the kids, mija has come to our house with lice (and gave my dd the bugwuggies - one time, I can understand, sort of, but the 2nd time...OY! I'd even spoken to the kooze and told her she need to wash EVERYTHING in the house - EVEN HER OWN HAIR because she and I both have hair down to our arses and when you go to pick a kid up, it's always brushing them somehow...why doesn't the world just SEE HOW RIGHT I AM AND TAKE MY ADVICE ??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ). She's a barfly, um, she worked in a topless bar (as a waitres, but still), she has 6 kids and is on welfare, she only works 1 NIGHT a week (Friday)...um, again, there's that math thing vs. the fog talk. </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Assuming he's responding to the feeling that she's becoming less available to him, I'm just wondering what he may feel he's losing, aside from the vague idea of a potential sexual opportunity. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">He's told me when he was not foggy that he's afraid that she'll just bring home any ole guy...I mean really, look at what she's chosen before: Her ex is a druggie that beat and raped her (she says), then she messes around for 3 years with a married man. Nio was her "knight in shiny armor" - and it made him feel good...even tho it was so terribly wrong. And I totally think it's about some other guy sniffing around something he considered "his"...even if she never really was. - Kimmy
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Kimmy.... I am posting to you on 2 forums! ~LOL~ Tattoo story... Working in ER one night (loooong time ago) A badassdude comes in tweeked on PCP... flying high... So, basically, we strapped him into his seatbelt and pushed him and his gurney off to the corner so he wouldn't fall off his jet ... and we could keep our eye on him.... coz we were swamped with regular 'bout to die folk too.... Later, I look at badassdude's tattoo he has across his chest big giant lettering that says: "BORN TO SOFFER" I thought I would die laughing! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Can you imagine going through your whole life with a typo on your chest???? .... What? You don't think this is funnyashell???? Well.... maybe ya had to "be there". Pep <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
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Pep - that IS funnyashell! The ldr nurse for when I was in the hosp for bambino #3 commented on one of mine, then said she saw the most amazing tats in the most amazing places. I think I'd have been more receptive to her story if I wasn't busy pushing out a 8.14 lb baby boy with a head the size of his father's. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> - Kimmy
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"pushing out a 8.14 lb baby boy with a head the size of his father's"
That small, huh?
LOLOLOLOLOL
could NOT resist that!
Kimmy! Never leave me an opening like that one EVER AGAIN ... Kimmy ... save me from myself.... ahhhhhhh
But, back to biznez
Did you discuss coochie-cooties with your H?
I mean, he did "go there" did he not?
There needs to be a discussion...
Pep (ever the nurse)
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That small??? Ijo! Whadidja birth? Gorillas? Cootchie cooties...LMAO! No, he hasn't gone "there" in quite a while. BUT: To assauge your nursley sensibilities, we BOTH have been checked and rechecked. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> - Kimmy
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Latest: Nio told the kids he's coming home tonight. The young 'uns asked if it were to stay forever and ever...he said yes.
We shall see.
- Kimmy
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Kimmy...
Need a hug?
(((((((( KIMMY )))))))))
Pep
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