I gave WH Plan B letter on Thursday--he leaves for an overseas trip on Tuesday. On Tuesday, I go dark. I told him we should make arrangements for him to move his things when he returned. He told me he would call me on that--I said no, we need to arrange now because I will not be in contact with you. He said, "Did I miss something in the letter?" Although he read it, he did not pay attention to it. He then said, "don't you want me to call you when I am overseas to let you know I am okay?" I said, "I want you to call me if you are willing to meet the conditions in the letter."
The last few days, he has been extra nice to me--trying to sweet talk me out of it. He has invited me to be with him, took me to lunch and brought me things. He consented to one MC session when he returns. I sat and thought about it and it is just not enough of a commitment. The issues are:
1) He has no means of financial support. He keeps asking me when I will settle the money--it is all in my name and I did not give him an answer. He threatens to get legal advise when he returns--I have already sought legal advise and I'll have a two week jump on him while he is overseas. I made enough so he could retire at 55--maybe he can get a job like everyone else.
2) When I ask him if he is willing to NC with OW and prove, he answered by saying OW is moving to Germany for a year. He did not say he is willing to NC and proof. That answer is not good enough.
3) He is looking for an easy way out--by thinking that that I am having an A. He thinks I am "sneeky." I told him, "I would not have an A because that would be a cruel and selfish thing to do." When he takes trips, I ask to go and he does not allow me to go. So I take trips by myself so I don't have to sit at home.
He use to sit in his car up the street and talk with OW on his cell. So when I talk about him to my sister about him, I sit in my car up the street and he has "caught" me. He thinks I am having an A because he is projecting his behavior on me. He says my sneeky behavior confirms his suspicions--I tell him he has a guilty conscience.
I don't think that one MC session is equal to all the things I have outlined in the letter. Today I told him that I loved him and think we can have a happy M, and I recognized that the MC was a big step, but not enough of a commitment. He said, "So what do I do?" I said, "You make plans to move out when you return."
I don't want to spoil any chance at recovery, but I think his offer falls short. It will be easier for me to go dark when he is overseas as I have no way to contact him. He says he will probably miss me and wants to speak with me, but I don't feel like being "cake."
I would appreciate any feedback. Thanks for your support, MB'ers.
<small>[ August 30, 2004, 03:15 PM: Message edited by: SureSurvivor ]</small>
