Hi All, at least those who remember me. I thought I’d pop by and say Hi and give an update.

I’m doing well, just came back from a week of skiing. It was really my first time, I’d tried it once before, but I went and conquered the ‘Aussie snow’ – yeah I know, don’t laugh, we do get some snow! Anyway, it was great fun, although I think my new ‘boyfriend’ was trying to kill me with some of the slopes he took me down. Still I did it and I’m hooked!

So, I have been with him five months now and its proving a challenge. It hit me last week that there will never be ‘happy ever after’ with anybody and I was shattered. But hey, what can you do? It makes being with someone hard and sometimes I wonder why I bother, but being with him is (mostly) wonderful. We’re two peas in a pod and get on so well, plus we really enjoy each others company – I don’t know it will ever go anywhere though and I’m not really sure what I want anyway.

But as usual I get far to involved and feel far too much. Yeah, I’m in love and it scares me a lot.

My dad is well and I’m still living with him.

My dog is well after another round of tumours and operations. If he gets another I can’t do anymore for him.

My job is still driving me crazy and I’ve just told my new boss I will be leaving – scarey but I had to make a forward step – I feel like I’m in a holding pattern.

Today would have been my 13th Wedding anniversary. Tomorrow will be another day.

Hey Seahorse,

Skiing? Thought that w/b a piece of cake considering we know you as the 'lady who swims w/sharks'. LOL!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Snow in Australia.... well that takes a bit of imagination especially when you tell us this in the hottest month of our year (up north). <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Sure nice to hear from you. Glad to hear you, your dad and pup are ok. U R like a ray of sunshine to us right now. Too much gloom and doom on GQII ya' know.

So you are ready for a career change? Me too. Gonna be moving in a few days. Actually tomorrow cuz it's already 8/31 here. We will be a couple of hours closer to your time zone. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

As for your new R, well you know the pitfalls. POJA, RH, etc...... I know you are scared and s/b. Take it nice and slow. You will now when it feels right. You have tackled worse.

I have great confidence in you my dear. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hugz,
L.

Hi Lizzie - I think of you frequently. I have a few jars of Vegemite I need to find a home for - want it? How long does that stuff keep?

Skiing, huh? I tried it a few times and I can understand why some folks really get hooked on it. But I concluded that if you need to wear that much clothing to have fun, there's probably a better way. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Seahorse:
<strong>It hit me last week that there will never be ‘happy ever after’ with anybody and I was shattered.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hmmmm. Here's hoping you get hit by something else. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Please keep an open mind on this. Believe it CAN happen rather than deciding it can't. Where's that adventuresome spirit?

Keep smiling!

WAT

Seahorse...

I don't post much at all anymore but I do stop by occassionally. Glad to hear you are doing well but I was surprised by this:

It hit me last week that there will never be ‘happy ever after’ with anybody and I was shattered.

Why do you think this?

My D is four months behind me and I have begun a new relationship with a wonderful woman who thinks I hung the moon and the stars....

Although it was four years to get to the D and there is still some longing for what was (or more correctly, perhaps, what might have been). I find that each day takes me in a direction that may lead to a "happily ever after."

At least that's my hope....

So that makes me curious about your quote...

Anyway,

Take care,

E

It's good 2 hear from you again, Seahorse. I'm not surprised it's taking you a while 2 get back in2 the relationship scene. 2 me, that means you're worth whatever waiting your partner goes through. I hope things work out for you. Heck, I know they will.

WAT: "I have a few jars of Vegemite I need to find a home for - want it? How long does that stuff keep? "

My guess would be several years longer than the jar!

-ol' 2long

Hi All, at least those who remember me. I thought I’d pop by and say Hi and give an update.

Hi to you too !!
It's good to hear from you again !!


So, I have been with him five months now and its proving a challenge. It hit me last week that there will never be ‘happy ever after’ with anybody and I was shattered. But hey, what can you do? It makes being with someone hard and sometimes I wonder why I bother, but being with him is (mostly) wonderful. We’re two peas in a pod and get on so well, plus we really enjoy each others company – I don’t know it will ever go anywhere though and I’m not really sure what I want anyway.

I think I see contradictions.

"Been with him 5 months and its a challenge
Being with him is mostly wonderful

Two peas in a pod, and get on so well.
Don't know if it will ever go anywhere.

Not sure what I want. "

Would it make you mad if I said that you are sure what you want, you are just afraid you will never find it.

You want love, respect, someone to grow old with, and you want someone that wants the same things and thinks you are the one to give it to him.

You want someone that dreams the same dream you dream, and counts you as the one that will make those dreams come true.


But as usual I get far to involved and feel far too much. Yeah, I’m in love and it scares me a lot.

I hope he cares for, and protects your feelings, and I hope you are being careful too. It sounds like it may be to late for that.

My dad is well and I’m still living with him.

I laughed and laughed when I read this part. It must not be too bad then. Difficult but not impossible.

My dog is well after another round of tumours and operations. If he gets another I can’t do anymore for him.

Having a hard time knowing what to say, we haven't replaced our dog yet, don't know If we will. Here's to long life and good health for yours.

My job is still driving me crazy and I’ve just told my new boss I will be leaving – scarey but I had to make a forward step – I feel like I’m in a holding pattern.

It is so hard to train a new boss. Please let us know how things go with this, and talk if you need support. Your BF is helping I hope?

Today would have been my 13th Wedding anniversary. Tomorrow will be another day.


You OK?
By now the feelings are probably past. Does your BF get it?

Can you still laugh?

SS

Hi All and thanks for the kind messages.

Orchid, I forgot about those POJA things, I will look them up. Are you moving somewhere nice? I'm sure it will be.

Thank you for having confidence in me.

WAT - vegemite is the best!
Forever is a long time, and I the last one promised it but didn't deliver.

Elad, I am glad you have found someone special. I think that maybe its me - I have become quite insecure where love is concerned.

2long - thank you. You are far 2 kind, and right about the vegemite.

Hi SS - I didn't realise those contradictions. Maybe you are right. Its been a long road and I'm not sure I'm all the way along it yet.

I'm certainly not the secure person I used to be where love is concerned. I am afraid of being left, of feeling that much pain again. I don;t know why, I know I can survive. I was very confident before this relationship, but now I am quite insecure. I guess I worry it will drive him away or me insane. I tell him what I'm feeling and he seems to understand.

I even worry about friendships he has with other women. I know the past is the past but I see history repeating itself - in the form of someone who likes him and is already running me down to him. I just hope he dosen't play up to this.

Anyway, I'm babbling.
Take care all.

Babbling???

Hey,
We want you to be happy, and I think you can be really happy. I don't think you need to be afraid, but I do think you need to go slow. All of us want to be in love, and someone to share with, that's good.

I ask questions because we sometimes see things differently than those in the middle of it see them.

If this guy asked you to marry him, would you be happy, or afraid?

SS

Hi ss, well, in answer to your question - I'd be afraid. I'm scared I can't do it and he can't do it and all the other factors and people that will come in between.

All I can be is myself and act in a loving way. Right?????

My sweet dog is looking at me from his bed right now. God love him!!

You have it down pretty well.

I don't think that means you should or shouldn't be with him, I think it does indicate you need more time to work through your trauma.

Emotional trauma is real. There are some accidents that take longer to heal from than others. Some take years and more than one operation. This isn't the same thing, but it's real, and it will take time. Don't think you won't ever be whole.

I have great faith in you. Give things another year or so. Don't be afraid, I really don't think this is long term or permanant.

Dogs can be so helpful, glad you have that help.

Anyway, I want you to smile, I hear it's good for your face. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

SS

<small>[ September 03, 2004, 04:21 PM: Message edited by: still seeking ]</small>

Hi SS, well, my plan now is to just be happy around him and pay more attention to him instead of my woes. If it dosen't work out between us, I will have learnt another (painful) lesson, and if it does work out between us I will have learnt another (painful now but happier later) lesson.

The great thing about this guy is he WILL talk to me.
I tend to get caught up in it all and I need to relax. Again, its like if this dosen't work I've failed again - I'm too tired to keep thinking this way. I just want to be.

I am taking leave without pay from work from the 24/9 (incidently this is our birthday SS!) for 6 weeks. My boss realises I may not return. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I need the break.

Its father's day here and I gave dad chocolate and tonight he will come and watch me dance at my dance schools annual performance. I'm very much looking forward to it and for it to be finished - its been stressful too.

Maybe that is my problem, I just don't know how to deal with stress very well, so I'll look at strategies there too and stop worrying about what may or may not happen.

Hi Seahorse,
I've been away for four days, Sorry I missed you, and I hope you come back around and talk until you feel comfortable again.


Hi SS, well, my plan now is to just be happy around him and pay more attention to him instead of my woes. If it dosen't work out between us, I will have learnt another (painful) lesson, and if it does work out between us I will have learnt another (painful now but happier later) lesson.

In my youth (admittly a long, long time ago,) I was taught that the dating peroid was a time to get to know someone so that you would know if you wanted to marry them. It sounds to me that you are doing that. It hurts if one falls in love, and the other doesn't. I don't know what you can do about that part, it just plain hurts.

I am not sure what you mean by "pay attenton to him instead of my woes." Are you talking to him about your fears of love and marriage, or are you talking to him about work problems?

If you do this (worry out loud) all the time, he probably wonders, but it is natural to share with someone you love, so I could see you wanting to talk to him.

You are a very verbal person, you need to talk. If he is not a listener, he can learn if he loves you and wants to help, but he will need to read, and he will need to practice for a while to get better at it. It isn't natural for some people to listen well (I know this from personal experiance.) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

If he (again, I am not really sure what you mean, exaxtly, so I am kind of talking around it) if he wants more attention, and complains that you complain too much, then you need to decide if that is a problem he has, or if it is you.

I would guess that there are problems in every relationship, and they scare you more now than they would have before you went through the events of the last 3 years.

The great thing about this guy is he WILL talk to me.

I tend to think he cares, or he wouldn't talk. Does he see you two as a committed relationship, looking for marriage, or is he dating wondering what he wants? Have you talked to him about that. Can you without getting really worried?

I tend to get caught up in it all and I need to relax. Again, its like if this dosen't work I've failed again - I'm too tired to keep thinking this way. I just want to be.

Yes, we just want to be, but real life is always sneaking up on us and scareing the beejeebes out of us. You can quote me on that one. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />


I am taking leave without pay from work from the 24/9 (incidently this is our birthday SS!) for 6 weeks. My boss realises I may not return. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I need the break.

I (for one) would like to know how things go for you. It sounds like there are still a lot of fears, and doubts. It's hard to live each day wondering what to do, and how to do it.

What are you getting from your prayers these days? I promise there is help there.


Its father's day here and I gave dad chocolate and tonight he will come and watch me dance at my dance schools annual performance. I'm very much looking forward to it and for it to be finished - its been stressful too.

When you said you danced for fun - well, here's my dance story.

One of the first dates I asked my W on was a college dance.(before she was my W of course.)
To set the stage, I ought to say that she was then on the ballroom dance team for the school, traveling around competing at other schools. Anyway, we went out on the floor, and began to dance, and after about 60 seconds, she said, "its alright, you don't have to try and dance." and she took me to the sidelines and we watched and talked after that.
For me, dancing and relaxation don't go well together. I offered to take lessons, but she told me that dance was fun, but not an important part of married life, and that I had other qualities that made up for the lack of dance.

Now, are you going to tell us how it went?
Please?

I suspect if the feelings are strong, and the two of you are willing to learn, you can make it a good thing. God is willing to help too, if you don't believe me, ask him.

Maybe that is my problem, I just don't know how to deal with stress very well, so I'll look at strategies there too and stop worrying about what may or may not happen.

Remember, you won't heal from your trauma in a year, it takes time. I don't do stress well either, but people think I do. It comes to you over time. One of the best ways I know to deal with it, is to help others with THEIR stress. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

24th - be sure to come round and accept well wishes.

All the best, to someone that I think deserves it.

SS

<small>[ September 07, 2004, 06:59 PM: Message edited by: still seeking ]</small>