I called one of my serial cheaters OP last nite..WOW - I can't believe I did it - finally...

Yesm a couple of vodka tonics will make you do things out of the ordinary.

Here's my take - she's known him for YEARS - she claims she never was "with him" which is a lie..I believe that they met every so often (more often lately) just for SEX...They are not in a R - she's happily M (go figure that one out).

So they really aren't in an EA or a PA - it's only SEX..she just kept telling me to talk to my WH - she would not tell or admit to anything.

So there are people that are happily, unhappily, M that just met "old friends" for SEX...nothing more...It's all about them...and their needs. That's a horrible way to live..I can't imagine myself just meeting a friend for sex..and going home like nothing happended..What they just turn a switch on and off for their emotions...what empty people they must be.

I made sure I let her know that she wasn't the only one he's having sex with..It seemed to shock her..What she's "special" - not for a minute..

IH, I'm not clear as to why you called the OW rather than her H. If you really want to end this particular affair use the leverage you have, call the husband and tell him what you know. Send him to this site so that they at least have a shot at recovery.

Have you read the concepts here? The forum is great but it does help to know what options you have before you dive in. Your H is a serial cheater ok, so work on exposing each A one by one. Calling OWs and trying to make them feel bad or trying to get your H in trouble with them is not going to end any affair. There is a process and it starts with exposure on your part.

Get your info together, skip the vodka tonics and call the HUSBAND(S). Read this thread, WAT'S Affair Exposure 101 to get some ideas as to why this is so important and how to do it.

Neither seemed concerned that I would be calling their husbands. The one offered to put him on the phone - so apparently, she has her basis covered "in case" she ever got caught. She just kept saying she hasn't been with my WH ever - nor has she talked with him "lately". I told her I had pictures she really didn't seem to care. Maybe she was caught and is trying to restore her marriage.

I'm not in Plan A or B - I'm in limbo - shock - withdrawl. His D wedding is this week-end i trulyfeel after he's used me this last time - he'll be done and will shut me out forever. I'll deal with it..Just like I have for over a year..I'll probably be on the D forum sometime soon..Plan A did nothing for "us"..Plan B is not doable - so probably the 180 or a variation will be next. Sorry, I'd love to follow the Harley principals but when you are with a serial cheater the Plans weren't designed for them.

IH, I get the impression you are somewhat resigned to failure here. Nevertheless it DOES hurt, I know. I would consider that the OW was calling your bluff, it seems prudent to follow through with exposure to the BSs anyway.

One reason is to give the OWs BS a chance to know the truth and deal with it as you are trying to. The other reason is to let your H know you aren't going to take this laying down. You're not his doormat are you? Have you read the thread link I gave you?

As far as MB concepts not working with serial cheaters, I'm sure StillWed would beg to differ, her H was a serial cheater as well. What is it exactly that you would like to gain from this forum, IH? Is there a shred of hope in you or have you given up already?

If not, I'd suggest you get busy and do some reading of the articles on this site with the understanding that while you can't change HIM, you can change YOU. The things you learn here will benefit you in ways you don't realize yet. Maybe your M won't make it or maybe it will but some of that has to do with how you proceed. Don't give up yet IH, get busy reading instead. Knowledge is power, go for it. KB