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Bittersweet day
#1180167 08/31/04 01:15 PM
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 577
K
kjb23
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kjb23
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K Offline
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Posts: 577
My parents are celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary today...I am smiling for them but sad that I may not have the same opportunity with the man I vowed to be sharing the same kind of happiness with. We couldn't even make it to 3 years without chaos separating us...ugh! I need to stop feeling like I have failed at marriage but it is so HARD when I sit hear all alone wondering if my H will ever come home to me.

Me: 28 yo faithful wife of 3 years, been best friends and lovers for 5 years. No kids
Him: 30 yo unfaithful H; had affair with another woman fall '03-Jan '04, he said he ended it but admits to dating a new woman now. He dropped the bomb on me in May 04 and immediately left me; now has a 1 year lease in new apartment.
Re: Bittersweet day
#1180168 08/31/04 01:23 PM
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Shrek's Swamp
P
Pepperband Offline
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Pepperband
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Posts: 35,996
Shrek's Swamp
Celebrate your own bountiful blessings...

Your youth
your beauty
your health
your intelligence
your friends
your family
your integrity
your employment

everyday.... find 5 new things to feel grateful for. small things count as well

attitude of gratitude .... usually pulls in more and more good things...

I am sure your parents' had times they thought they'd never make it to 35 years!
Pep
Re: Bittersweet day
#1180169 08/31/04 01:32 PM
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 577
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kjb23
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kjb23
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K Offline
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Posts: 577
Yes, I have to admit that I am blessed to have a wonderful family, good health, athletic talent, a great job that I love, great friends, and I live in a very desirable community (San Diego) for my lifestyle!

Thanks
Re: Bittersweet day
#1180170 08/31/04 02:04 PM
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 15,284
J
Just Learning Offline
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Just Learning
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Posts: 15,284
kjb,

Permit me to take Pep's thought a bit further.

H**l girl you are ONLY 28, you are still a child. If you marry again at 30 you will ONLY and I do MEAN ONLY be 65 at your 35th anniversary. And let me tell you, at 65 you ain't dead yet. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Seriously, this is traumatic, but you would much rather know now, and find the right person, than continue a marriage the he or you doesn't really want.

There is a bright side to this, and at your age an UP side to this. So deal with the pain of ending a marriage by allowing yourself time to heal, but also realize you have a LOT of life ahead of you.

God Bless,

JL
Re: Bittersweet day
#1180171 08/31/04 02:35 PM
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 160
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parkem1 Offline
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parkem1
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Posts: 160
kjb,

I feel your pain. I am in the same spot as you. I had planned on spending the rest of my life with my WW and was looking forward to growing old with her. Now at 35 it looks like I am going to be starting over again. The step-daugthers that I have been raising the last 7 years will be pretty much out of my life. I agree it is very hard to stop the feelings of being a failure when you are sitting there all alone thinking about how your WS is with someone else. But the reality of it is that they are the ones who are failures. Running off with someone is no way to deal with marriage problems. It is very selfish and it is not our fault. Hang in there.

Moderated by  Fordude 

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